I'm quite happy to have peaked, actually. I was never a hardcore TRA...I was more of a "live and let live" type. I actually said once, "If someone wants me to use their pronouns, what is it hurting?" And then I saw exactly what it was hurting.

Someone here posted a meme of a "transwoman" handing a real woman a card that said SHE/HER, and the real woman accepted the card, saying, "I guess I can accommodate this." And then the "transwoman" was like, "Oh, in that case...

LESBIANS MUST HAVE SEX WITH ME LET ME PLAY WOMENS SPORT LET ME WIN WOMENS AWARDS LET ME INTO WOMENS SPACES LET ME INTO WOMENS BATHROOMS"

...and so on and so forth. And that's exactly what's happening.

That's what it's hurting.

And now, I fear that this society might be too far gone to restore any semblance of sanity. We have male doctors named Theodore demanding to be called Beth, looking at us with a straight face telling us "I'm not male". A MEDICAL DOCTOR. We have men referring to their penises as "built-in strap ons", crying about lesbians not wanting to fuck them, trying to force and coerce and guilt natural women into sex. We have natural women that think they're men, cutting off perfectly healthy breasts, scheduling elective hysterectomies, and paying obscene amounts of money to predatory doctors for it. Mutilating their arms to create skin tube Frankendicks. And all of them are forcing us to play along with them, lest they spit on us, doxx us, sexually assault us, punch us, threaten us with harm, etc, etc, etc...

No, I'm glad I peaked...though it's quite the heavy burden to bear.

But I understand what you mean, and how you feel.

I feel the same way but about radical feminism as well. Ever since becoming aware of how much of human society and humanity as a whole is built around misogyny and women's suffering, and knowing that I'll always be seen as a dumb sex object by half the human population made me 10 times more depressed than I already was. And it's not like I can just forget all of it, since it's always there. When I read too much about those topics and see men's rampant hatred for women and girls, even tho we didn't do anything to deserve this for the past several thousand years with no end in sight, I feel like shutting myself in my house and never interacting with society or any human whether online or in real life ever again.

I never really peaked because I never really bought it.

But I do wish my views weren't so out of whack with a lot of my friends and peers.

It's just... it's so fucked up. Like, they are literally saying men are women. They don't see how fucked up it is. I just can't see it from their perspective, it's so insane. Like if everyone were telling me grass is fuschia.

I was never not peaked, if that makes sense. Long ago I used to think, well, if a handful of men want to pretend they are women, and even go so far as to have their genitals amputated, I don't care. I would probably have called a transwoman "she" if asked because I would have assumed we all understood this was a polite fiction. Once they started getting pushy and demanding, I was never in any doubt about where I stood.

I can relate, but more about porn than gender ideology. At least not everyone believes in gender ideology. With porn, basically every man consumes it, and a lot of women either consume it or morally accept its consumption.

It feels so isolating to see the statistics about the rise of unwanted violence during otherwise consensual sex, women being "choked" (strangled) and engaging in other demeaning acts, the abuse that gets posted on porn sites, yet no one wants to acknowledge how harmful porn is.

Still, I'd rather live in reality than be ignorant. When you live in reality, you're at least able to attempt to shield yourself and others from harm. You can't protect yourself from a threat you don't know exists.

I've been a radical feminist since the early 80s so never bought into gender ideology. However, I was also a staunch democrat and a supporter of Planned Parenthood and the ACLU.

I immediately saw how trans ideology was sexist, homophobic and regressive but it seemed none of my friends could see it or at least they were too afraid to either speak publicly or alienate their children, some of whom, mostly girls, were in the process of social and medical 'transition.'

I lost my best friend, a lesbian, to this ideology. I lost clients who had been with me for 20 years. I lost a friend group, a political party, and my ability to continue to admire authors and activists I once held in high esteem. (Fuck you Margaret Atwood and Gloria Steinem.)

It feels like everything that was important to me was undermined and the very fabric of my life was torn apart.

For me to 'go back' would mean the world reverting to some semblance of it's former sanity. I can't see people who drank the Kool Aid or allowed their kids to trans themselves ever facing the enormity and reality of what they've done.

The best we can hope for at this point are changes in law and policy that stop the madness. The world will never be the way it was before this evil took over and neither will I.

No.

The loss of friends has been difficult. The realisation that so many people I know are fine with males battering women in boxing rings and don't care about female prisoners being locked up with males and feel the hurt feelings of people like Dr Upton matter more than the dignity of women like Sandie Peggie and have swallowed hook, line and sinker a load of bilge that looked at with any sort of critical approach is obviously cultish nonsense that requires you to suspend logic and go with faith and belief... that has been difficult.

At the same time, I am free in a way I haven't been free for years. It really is like leaving a cult. The anger and disgust and frustration are enormous, but I am free of the pretence, free from that awful feeling of panic that came every time I had to tell myself that my urge to say 'of course trans 'women' are not women don't be insane' was wrong, free from the brainrot that allows women to look at people like Imane Khelif and simper that *they're women just like me they should be allowed to beat women up for fun". It is well worth it.

I value truth and honesty too much to regret peaking.

Decades ago, I came to terms with my agnosticism and realized it would be dishonest if I continued to call myself a Christian. I’m a non-believer and that’s ok.

Even though this means I can’t comfort myself with assurances that God has a plan for me and all I need to do is pray and have faith when I’m struggling in life, at least I don’t have to live in fear and shame for simply being a fallible human being.

Even though this makes it harder for me to find community because I can’t stand church services anymore, at least I don’t feel the constant pressure to conform to the crowd or put blind trust in a stranger who purports to be a moral authority (but may very well be slimier than any heretic out there).

Even though being a non-believer may mean some people negatively judge me and cut me out of their world, at least that means I don’t have to worry about investing my time and energy in the type of people who would negatively judge me and cut me out of their world for not believing what they do.

For the same reasons, I can’t regret peaking. It comes down to your values.

Nope! Because truth is better than lies, no matter how unsettling that truth may be.

I wouldn't say I was a TRA, but I've always been very far left politically and I was very sympathetic to the trans argument until they came after my kid. My darling girl, who was the girliest girlie girl in the world, briefly went into the trans rabbit hole during covid. I'm one of the lucky ones. I knew my kid well enough to immediately know this was just online influence. I'll tell the whole story here someday but to make it short she's a very happy teen now and is as peaked as I am. I know others, parents and kids, aren't so lucky.

When I think about the horrors that could have happened to her I just become enraged. I don't live far from another family who had their child taken from them by captured social workers and courts (it was in the news) bc they didn't immediately "affirm" their autistic child's SOGD. Mine was seeing what turned out to be a very pro-trans therapist at the and I don't doubt that one phone call from her could have destroyed our lives.

Even though I still hold very leftist views (pro-UHC, pro-choice, pro-pubic education, pro-union, tax the rich, strong environmental and business regulations, etc etc) I'm way too big of a cynic to fall for trans ideology. I was willing to live and let live but they're not and that's the ultimate issue.

And now I’m put into the same category as Trump, Musk and other right-wing people who enforce rigid sex stereotypes

Yeah by people who believe that men can become women lol.

Good on you for changing your mind though. Few people seem to be capable of it, especially when it comes to politically divisive stuff.

To answer your question: no, never. I wish more people were capable of reason. And I wish politicians who push this shit without truly believing in it had some fucking integrity.

I feel so, so much of this. I only recently peaked, and holy shit is it lonely.

It shows you what people genuinely think of things you've done that they've historical supported (or at least in my case it has, as I've had my disability and minority status thrown back into my face by TRA friends who were previously only supportive)

But I also feel like there's an enormous amount of emotional and mental bandwidth I've gotten back, now that I simply don't have to constantly police myself for wrongthink, or constantly try to unlearn the basic biology that TRAs deny.

Like JKR says, failure is a stripping away of the inessential. I keep telling myself that's what's happening here, I am stripping myself of inessential people. I guess I'm glad they're dropping me over my questioning The Trans, rather than after my mom dies or something that I'd really need friends to get through.

I don't like this right now. But I wouldn't trade my newfound mental clarity for anything, as tempting as it is. Even my emotions are easier to control now. I was deep in the Kool aid.

I frequently wish I was stupid. It looks so much easier.

Ignorance is bliss. Peaking woke me up to just how hated women really are and how that hatred can so easily be masked as inclusion all for the sake of men refusing to be told "no," not that that's anything new. Even still, I'd rather not be ignorant.

Only in that Australia is so captured, and a couple of friends harbour a creepy AGP in their family, so I have to be careful what I say around them. I don't like having to guard my words like that.

I found peaking to be similar to grief. Different stages.

I feel like I’ve reached acceptance though the anger and passion is always there.

Nah but I'm the most socially liberal person in my immediate circle. I'm black and an immigrant, communities that tend not to be into TRA BS.

Plus I see how stupid people defending this lunacy look.

For all the loneliness/out in the cold atmosphere of it, the loss of my grandson and his mother and the silence from the family (because it's not a topic of conversation anymore) I'm glad I went searching for answers when nobody would talk to me because in the end I used my brain and not my 'kind heart' which may have pulled me into the trans circus.

I think it's already reached its high water mark. I remember back in 2015 despairing as you did. But we've reached a certain level of glasnost on these issues now.

I never bought into this crap BUT i had a several-year-long period where I did not think about it AT ALL. like it was pissing me off so bad I completely cut out reading about it, discussing it or arguing about it for my mental health. then one day years and years later i was like, hmm, the "trans kids" will be grown up now, hey, maybe I was wrong all along? lemme look up jazz jennings

and now I'm madder than ever lmao

idk though, apart from the whole blood pressure thing, i lowk feel kind of badass for not seal clapping the naked emperor. everyone always believes they'd be the one brave enough to stand up against a harmful ideology or way of thinking in the olden days. guess what? we TERFs ARE the restistance and the rebels.

Yeah, somewhat. The worst thing for me is knowing how many people have been harmed. GNC women and girls have almost been exterminated. Nearly all female children who are like I was have been turned into "boys." It would be nice to be able to believe this is all normal and healthy. That there is nothing unusual or wrong about the erasure of these girls.

I just don't understand how so many people can remain blind. I wish I could have remained ignorant because the truth is so painful.

For me, peaking was more about getting really mad about the complete takeover of liberal society, rather than any loss of faith. I never believed men could become women. But yes, I feel very isolated from my community because of it, and do sometimes wish I could just believe, or at least, let it go.

If I had been born later, I might very well have become trans myself. While I certainly had trans thoughts and wishes in my childhood, I had no idea that others had similar thoughts and that “gender affirming care” was a thing. This is one topic that makes me very glad I grew up out in the sticks where dialup was the best Internet connection available all the way until Starlink was created. My parents live in such an out of the way place that not even cellular coverage is reliable.

This meant I was alone with my thoughts unaware there was anyone who I could talk to or understand how I felt. I was able to grow up being GNC in a number of ways, but because it didn’t cause trouble, I was largely left alone. My mother in particular is more open, but unfortunately she’s fallen in with the “be kind” crowd and resists peaking. I eventually “moved on” not trying to dwell on fantasies.

I didn’t find out about trans procedures even being a thing until college, somewhere between 2000-2010, and you can bet I became rather interested as it caused those childhood feelings to resurface. At this point, you might be wondering, why didn’t I go all in? After all, I was an adult, free to make my own choices and surrounded by peers that were starting to add T to LGB.

It basically came down to the fact that I was also old enough with developed critical thinking skills allowing me to research the procedures and understand what they actually meant. My conclusion? The results would be fake and could not be anything more than that. It is was all about looking some part, performing in some way, pretending. It hurt to have that resurface again, but I ultimately chose not to pursue any treatment because it wasn’t about fitting some cosmetic, it was about something much deeper to me, and it was clear that there was no magic medical procedure that could grant what I wanted. Still, because of those feelings, I felt that some trans people might have had the same thoughts as me, and while I might disagree with their choice of coping mechanism, I could emphasize with them a bit.

At this point, however, I’m fully peaked. I’ll still live the way I choose even if people might classify some of my behaviors as GNC, but I haven’t cared in a while. What I do care about are the children being mutilated, poisoned, and brainwashed into an unhealthy and sterile life without proper consent (which can’t exist for children) just because they’re GNC in any small way (yup, homophobes still exist, they just wave trans flags now). I also care about stopping the men who have taken advantage of this whole situation who don’t actually give a fuck about transitioning and instead want easy access to vulnerable women. I also care about protecting the women who have wrongly been convinced that they can shield themselves from evil men by wreaking their bodies with tans medicine.

So, yes, being peaked means clashing with others (even my mom) and having to navigate tricky social settings (which I’m bad at), but I don’t regret it in the least. I shudder to think how badly things would be going for me now if I hadn’t.

well, I never peaked because I never believed in any of it. You just feel lonely because your peer group is likely too awashed in it, and I get that, but you're not alone.

No, being connected to reality is my happy place.

No. Gender fixations are toxic. More so when you don’t fit the mold. I would self destruct.

I’m glad to be free of it.

I’ve always seen human society as deeply fucked up, despite it’s beauty and wonders. Thanks to modern technology it’s in some ways worse or more obvious than recent history, but really humans, with all our goodness and virtue, have always been delusional, arrogant, deeply stupid, and demonically depraved.

These qualities are nothing new to me.

Life was easier being ignorant but the gains I've made in real life are priceless.

I've attached myself to an incredible irl women's rights group and I am now in the company of the most remarkable, intelligent, brilliant and wise women that I never would have met if not for this madness. I adore my radfem elders ❤️

No, I’m happy that I peaked.

I wasn’t a huge TRA, I was mostly a “live and let live” type and I believed that trans was a kind of gay. As in I knew these were likely gay men who felt more comfortable presenting as a woman or being more feminine. Now I know maybe it’s kinda true with some people (not the majority of TIPs) , but I find it unethical to support that now, because I find it homophobic as well as other things. But knowing all the things I know now I’m happy knowing and I don’t want to go back to how I thought before.

I do think it’s a fad and we’re starting to come to the end of it. So something else will replace it.

I was super into telling people off for being transphobic,

I think lots of people who virtue signal have the same idea. I think some also a lot get off on the idea of being apart of a civil rights movement.

But now you can know when future generations look back on this and think this movement did so much damage etc you’ll be in the right.

I take solace in the fact that at least none of my friends really believe in trans stuff either, and they don’t seem to think anything negative of me when I go on a mini-rant (my brother is a TIM so sometimes I blow off steam when I’m annoyed about it). Small comfort, but not one everyone else has on this site.

It is lonelier. Much lonelier.

I know it's really hard being on tenterhooks around your loved ones who are believers, knowing that they think you're an irredeemable bigot, or they would if you had the temerity to speak your mind.

But equally it's very hard living with cognitive dissonance. The trans stuff is impossible to rationalise - I just don't believe that anyone who is a rabid believer of this stuff is comfortable with it deep down. The incoherence of it all and the way it jars with real life must be a constant discomfort.

As horrible as everything is on the outside, it must give some inner peace to be in tune with the truth, no? And you've probably regained a lot of self-respect in not defending men who roleplay an offensive idea of femaleness for sexual kicks.

Definitely think this stuff can overtake your life though. Good for all of us to switch off and take an internet break and focus on friends, family & hobbies <insert Nietzsche comment on fighting monsters & gazing into the abyss>

No, I was in a constant state of anxiety and internal conflict because, deep down, I knew so many of my "beliefs" to be untrue. It was a huge OCD trigger to know that I held nagging "unacceptable thoughts" in the back of my mind. Now that I have accepted them as true I am more at peace.

I relate to this post, believe it is well-written, and truly admire the humility it takes for this level of honesty.

Kind of. But I think being a lesbian, there is no way that you can’t peak unless you shut your eyes to the evil that is happening to us.

No. It's been difficult and I've lost many friends over this, and I can't even talk to my closest friends about it because they just don't understand, but I wouldn't be half the person I am today without it. I'm proud to speak up for women, and I enjoy running my publication, though I'm not as active with it as I'd like to be. It also led to me discovering that I wanted to go into journalism, so that's nice.

I'm glad I never bought into the stupid falsehoods but boy does living in a world governed by said falsehoods suck ass

You really get to see how many people are cowards.

It seems like life was easier somehow, believing the lie.

This is why people stay in cults. When you leave you lose family and friends, have to do the work of restructuring your worldview, have everyone still in the cult call you "evil" and no longer be able to enjoy the media, songs, and stories that used to give you comfort.

I think its worth remembering the reasons why you believed, and how you peaked, so you can keep empathy for people who havent yet. From the outside it seems so stupid and heinous, so its hard to empathise, but from the inside it seemed science based, the next logical step towards social equality, and based in respect and human dignity. We are all able to be fooled. It doesnt make you weak, stupid, or bad.

I wouldnt worry that its going to continue on for another 45 years, tbh i think its got about 18 months left it. The key dominoes have already fallen.

It kinda feels like having taken the blue pill at times, but as disheartening as things feel sometimes, I'm glad I peaked. Maybe life would be a little easier because accepting something at face value means not questioning it or thinking about it, and that trans shit surely has me thinking a lot. Like you, I found that I'm not quite able to enjoy someone's work if I know they are pro-trans, and sometimes, when I'm not quite sure about an artist or author, I google because I wanna make sure I don't throw my money at someone who's supporting this bullshit.

What's really, really depressing about all of this, though, is the knowledge that even if the trans/gender-bullshit goes away, misogyny won't, especially now that the right are winning election after election. I partly blame this on the woke crowd who tried to police speech so hard that people feel like they are not allowed to say anything anymore, and many men take this as an excuse to be complete assholes. "What? Can't I say this anymore, Nazi?" They also just love to spam forums for articles about women and girls, spewing their misogyny while pitying themselves because we demand they treat us with respect instead of calling us names. I especially love those that use whataboutism all the time. The online newspaper I predominantely read publishes an article about domestic violence and femicides? "Boooo, men get murdered, too, and women can be such meanies, what with their psychological tricks!" There's an article about how important it is to make education accessible to all girls and women, no matter where?" "Boooo, what about the boys in those countries? They don't have it easy, either!"

The number of times I wanted to scream my head off when male users flooded the forum for an article about how women were oppressed and how important it is to make sure every girl in every country gets a good education

It is a lot to think about, and there was a lot of having to reorient my entire worldview. I realized how easy it is for people to stick their heads in the sand. It is scary and difficult to completely change your opinions on just about everything. But, I would never go back. Injustices must be called out. Trans ideology is such an octopus of multi armed injustices that threaten the fabric of humanity.

I feel the same as you. Knowledge is power, but is also suffering. Many times I've wished I was simply naïve and alienated towards lots of things. But alas, you can't unlearn everything you came to know at this point unless you somehow lose your memory and that made me become much more pessimistic than I already was.

I'm glad I noticed the trans craziness in time not to say gc things at work and to get sacked. But I wish I could say gc things at work :(

Do I ever wish I hadn't peaked? 🤔 (putting on my philosophy hat here) 🧢

Yes and no.

Yes, because I'd still be in contact with my "trans" brother and his family, and there would be one less shitshow to see unfolding and try to stop, seemingly tiny step by tiny step at a time over many years.

No, because as tempting as it is to think ignorance about this could be bliss, that's not really true at all. All things considered, I'd rather live in reality and fight on the side of sanity.

Does this realization piss me off? Definitely.

Are there bigger issues in the world? Always. But this was given to me, unasked-for, as my issue. So I stay focused, keep my head straight, and forge on.

fandom, hugboxing, convenient beliefs, and virtue signaling can definitely make delusion more fun than reality :(

I don’t feel this way about peaking because I’d rather have my eyes open, but I understand it because I did feel this way when I lost my religious beliefs, which was a very similar internal process. It’s very hard to face that the world and life and humans are not what you thought they were. In my case, it’s been very hard to see the people I thought of as critical thinking, genuinely progressive, thoughtful, creative, artistic, and intelligent fall so hard for such a blatantly false belief.

Hell no. Maybe life would be slightly easier socially to live in ignorance, but I wouldn’t necessarily be better off. I definitely wouldn’t be safer. Maybe I would’ve gotten sucked into the cult. Maybe I would have been harmed by a TIM I allowed to cross too many boundaries. Maybe I would’ve had a child and been convinced to trans him or her.

I’d much rather be a terf pariah than another victim or an enabler of this horror show.

Ignorance is bliss. I might be happier as a handmaiden, but I know the truth now and I wouldn't go back.

Nope

OP, I think it's equally bad to addict to trans ideology or gc. For most people, "gender identity" is a very small portion of their life unless they decide to go on a full-time fetish display. I also won't worry too much about canceling pro-trans artists especially in the bipartisan American politics where you can only choose from a giant dem ideology package and a giant gop ideology package. I do think once you peaked, there's no way back.

I've said this before in other comments, but it's relevant here too. I was never a hardcore TRA, I just kind of went along with it but didn't pay much attention to it or go out of my way to directly support it. it was just a part of standard liberal/Democratic beliefs so I was like "meh, I don't really care about this specifically but good for them I guess."

I also was soooo indifferent about the TRA outrage around JKR's beliefs because I'd never read any of her books and didn't see why people (TRAs) needed to scream about her bad opinions so much.

anyways, peaking wasn't like a huge shift for me. once I'd read further into gender critical resources and arguments, it actually confirmed some of my prior suspicions about trans ideology that I'd just shrugged off before because it simply wasn't that important to me.

as for the people I know who are still pro-trans, the way I look at it is like - that I'm disappointed they believe that, but also that they don't know any better. there's so much pro-trans propaganda and social pressure for them to support it - as I'm sure you know, you were a TRA once. and it's easy for them to disregard any criticism of trans ideology as right-wing propaganda, even though there are legitimate gender critical feminist arguments against trans ideology.

but yeah, I agree, things are just utterly insane with the whole trans ideology situation.

Yes and no, only because I've seen some things i wish hadn't happened and that I could unsee

Cypher regretting taking the red pill was pretty relatable, to be honest.

Yeah a bit.

I'm also peak GC as I see more and more conservatism and narrow mindedness in the community.

I'm always going to know sex isn't changeable via hormones and meds, and oppose blockers and early medicalisation, and I look much more askance at AGP TIMs especially than I did. I'm always going to know the difference between sex and gender.

" I don't like this right now. But I wouldn't trade my newfound mental clarity for anything"

This... Yeah;!!

Not tra peaked but the only time I regret being peaked as a radfem is when I can't get with other women. Both in a romantic and platonic sense. I hate how male centered most women are. I hate how straightness is just the default and how much of a pedestal men are placed on. I hate how women devalue each other because of the patriarchy and still push for husbands above all. Sorry to derail lol but I just felt sad today.

Absolutely not. My thinking on so many issues would not have been able to evolve or develop the way it has if I had held on to that ideology. It is so clear now that ALL of our problems have solutions, we are not powerless or inherently evil or doomed to eternal subjugation, and I would not have been able to get to a point of hope if I had been unwilling to acknowledge the full extent of the reality before us. I terfed out in late 2012/early 2013, and it was years before I really got my critical thinking skills up and running. It's only in the last few years that I've really been able to detect and deflect all kinds of pathetic male pathos, and I cannot tell you how worth it that is to be at that point. And at the end of the day, you're just right. Maybe I have a special allergy to being wrong that real normal humans don't have, but it is magnificent to me to be able to wake up every day knowing that I am being objective. I am meeting real problems in the real world and thinking about real solutions to them. Social capital at the expense of cognitive dissonance can't beat that.

Never bought the trans stuff, but the baggage that came with it was what makes me wish I never peaked. It spiraled the self hatred, like the awareness of how we're socially perceived and physical reality, even more- when I hoped it would be the opposite.

I'm really not impressed by your stance. You were part of the mob, and now you want empathy from people who've always been the victims that you miss being part of the mob.