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RaveA heartening playground interaction
I don't even know how many times I've made offhand TERFy comments in casual conversations with new people. Occasionally, someone will seem uncomfortable. I'll refrain from making personal remarks about the type of person I believe stereotypically responds that way, except to say it sure does always seem like the same type and not the type I'd feel like I'm missing out on. Far more often, it is well received. One such encounter happened yesterday. We've been cooped up most of this awful winter, and we had our first warm day. My small one was playing with some other children at the playground and called a long hair boy a girl. I corrected her, and assured her, the child was male. This kid's dad then complained to me that his wife wouldn't let him cut the boy's hair short, and so he looks like a girl. I disagreed. I told him his child didn't look like a girl at all to me, that many men have long hair and lots of people love long hair on men. I said equating long hair to girls was very "trans thinking." His wife, and another mother near us, both reacted positively, nodding agreement, laughing, and the wife saying "Yes! See?" I know it's just one small encounter, but it's the first I've been out aTERFin' since last year, and I found it encouraging. Thought I'd share.
Very interesting interaction. A few months ago I was also at a playground and I got to talk to two siblings, boy and girl, who both had long-ish hair (I’d say it was same length). As we were chatting and introducing ourselves, the girl made sure to tell me that “this is my brother X and he’s a boy who has long hair”. It was as if she was anticipating some comment about his hair.
Of course, it was obvious that he was a boy and she was a girl. I don’t know what moron could have believed that he was a girl just because of the hair.
My mom cut my hair very short—like nothing touching the ears—when I was in kindergarten. This was over 2 decades ago. I was mistaken for a boy twice.
One time she dressed me in a biker-style jacket and sent me to school. I didn’t like the jacket, but I didn’t care too much. I hated the haircut.
Two other little kids whispered to each other, and then a little girl asks me if I’m a boy or a girl. I said that I was a girl, but I remember feeling embarrassed about it and leaving the situation ASAP.
The other time (same haircut), I was in a full Halloween costume including full face makeup. It was an old woman calling me so handsome, and I was just like “thanks…”
Was... was your mother trying to turn you into a little punk rocker? Am very confused by these style choices for a kindergartner.
Haha right? She had me do auditions for commercials etc as a baby and young child. I think she had the idea that a pixie cut would differentiate me or something. Either that or she was just tired of doing my hair. Or my last theory: she always said that I was supposed to be a boy. She didn’t trans me at least.
My mom cut my hair very short (I guess you could call it a pixie cut, though it doesn't look that stylish on photos) when I was in kindergarten, too. She couldn't be arsed to do anything with it, and I didn't care one way or the other. (In primary school I was upgraded to a rather girly bob cut, and then promptly decided to grow my hair out. I love my hair long, it is also cheaper because I don't need a hairdresser, I just wear it up at all times, while my mom has to have her short haircut done every couple weeks. But I am quite a fan of short hair for toddlers who don't care about it ... and don't have to pay woman tax at the hairdresser.)
I can't recall that anyone ever mistook me for a boy. Though I must admit that I was a shy kid and never talked to strangers, so perhaps that is why, lol.
I had a bob too! Also when I was a bit older. I tried short hair again as an adult, but I find ponytails the easiest. I don’t fault “hippie” dudes.
Do boys look anatomically different from girls? I can easily notice the difference starting from teenage years, but I am not sure the difference would be that stark between a toddler boy and a toddler girl.
In my experience, yes, they already look different. Possibly there may be cases where at first glance one doubts oneself a bit, if the boy is delicate in features. But I think once you watch them playing, it’s kind of obvious.
I'd say I can frequently, but not always, tell when they're little-little. In this case it was quite obvious. He already had a very large, square shape to his jaw and brow. I knew to correct my own small one based solely on looks. His parents hadn't said anything about it yet at that point, but immediately afterward, confirmed my assessment was correct.
Girls are obliged to have a tiny baby ponytail on top of their heads, to mark them.
I'm pretty bad at telling the difference. All else being equal (same haircuts, same clothes), I maybe guess right 70 percent of the time, which isn't great since randomly guessing would give me a 50 percent rate.
Honestly, absolutely everyone knows gender ideology is either unfair or straight up bullshit. Maybe there is a 10% of gullible folk that genuinely believe the story. Nobody ever tries to change your opinion with reasoned and polite conversation.
How trans advocates react to anything that isn't 100% kissing ass to genderwoo, you know they're just bullies jumping at the chance to prove how superior they are and feel justified in their bullying.
I said equating long hair to girls was very "trans thinking."
In like the last week there have been two other instances of someone on this forum coming up with a wording or way of looking at things that I immediately go, "Yep, I'm gonna go ahead and start using that." You're number three.
You women rock.
That’s great that you were brave and put yourself out there like that! It can be really nerve-wracking for sure, but ultimately way more people agree with the ‘terf’ position than disagree with it, so speaking up gives others courage to do so too.
I love this! Good for you for speaking up, there is no better feeling than meeting other TERF minded people in the wild. Whenever someone equates hair length to sex, I like to bring up Tinkerbell and Tarzan lol
I really like the term "trans thinking". It says a lot with no explanation needed, like if you know you know, and those women knew exactly what you were saying in just two short words. Wonderful. I will remember and use that myself.
And it could be used with such scorn in the right setting.