Dear Mr. Wheeler,

I used to call myself a democrat and have historically voted that way. I am now an independent voter. The primary reason is all to do with the issue of gender, sex, and the left’s seeming unwillingness to disentangle their definitions of these words. This muddling absolutely silences, endangers, and humiliates women in intimate and vulnerable spaces where the definition of sex (biological and immutable) matters, and gender (expression of arbitrary sex stereotypes) is irrelevant.

I have lost friends over this issue because I dared to voice my concerns and my doubts. It seems like the democrats I know, much like the ones who shouted at and abused you during your struggle session, would rather use their assumed moral superiority to bludgeon others into submission than honestly examine what they’re actually doing: giving women’s equity away to a few very special men. This is religious fervor like I haven’t seen it since the Bush era evangelicals, and it hurts democrats as a whole to call themselves the party of reason, science and evidence, and then say with their whole chests that some people are just born in the wrong body and must be corrected with hormones, surgery, and the participation of others in their catechism.

I support religious freedom up to the point where it affects others’ freedom to practice, or choose not to. As a woman and a mother, I have been affected by this issue, and I would consider myself to have defected from the Democratic Party over its senseless adherence to dodgy science and emotional conflation with other civil rights. Some very smug colleagues of yours really thought they had something when they compared this struggle to racial segregation; they are telling us all something very ugly about themselves. It’s amazing how the true bigots are revealed when they are all trying to out-virtue each other and secure their place on the so-called “right side of history.”

The right side of history is, was, and always has been the side that protects and advocates for women and children. Once their safety concerns are thrown aside to cater to any group of men (and for the purposes of clarity and practicality, I must consider transwomen a subset of men), social contracts and the trust we have in each other and our communities crumble.

The best among men understand why women need private spaces for intimate functions. Every time we use the restroom we must get partly undressed. Women take on caretaking roles for young children and the elderly at higher rates and are often charged with their protection throughout the day, making these private spaces even more crucial. The burden of proof for why we don’t deserve safe and fair sports, prisons, and crisis shelters should not be on us. It should be on the people trying to take those rights and protections away, and so far they have failed to make a compelling case. The closest they have come is changing their language to obfuscate their intentions, as when “women” actually means “females and some males,” or “gender” doesn’t mean “sex”, except when someone wants to falsify a legal document and it does.

I have come to believe that only the worst men feel that it is their human right to violate these protected spaces. Only the worst women feel justified in supporting them and enthusiastically giving away the rights and consent of their sisters. I believe that many of these democrats who are doubling down right now feel guilt for voting against legitimate civil rights struggles in the past and see trans issues as the logical extension of gay rights and voting equality. Strip away the flowery language of “affirmation” and “euphoria”, however, and you’re left with mental illness and narcissism run amok, elevating the preferences of a few over the safety and rights of half the population. We should not be deifying extreme and ruinous individuality at a point in history when stitching together a coherent concept of community might be the only thing that can save us.

I am not in New Hampshire. Sadly I am currently not one of your constituents. But I have endless respect for your composure and courage and will support your political ambitions any way I can. Thank you for listening to women. If you run for a higher office in the future, under any ticket, you have my vote.

Sincerely,

sylviasmushrooms