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ImportantMom seeking resources to support 12yo daughter
Posted December 17, 2024 by stern-as-steel in Lesbians

I have this request from a non-lesbian Ovarit user. If the user can DM you with any follow-ups, please mention that in your comment.

Hi! I'm a mom seeking resources to support my 12yo daughter, who recently came out as lesbian. As a straight woman myself I don't want to post anything on o/Lesbians uninvited, but I was hoping the mods could point me in the right direction for finding support.

Our dilemma: I've been struggling to find LGB books and media for my daughter that are both age-appropriate and fully accepting of same-sex attraction (but without being outright hateful or right-wing). We live in a very blue city where our LGB spaces and groups are trans-affirming. Already my daughter has been feeling pressure at school from MtF boys who want her to accept them as fellow lesbians, and last week a mom of a TIM we know asked her if her same-sex attraction isn't a "sign she's actually a boy." I've had several talks with her along the lines of listening to herself/her inner voice, the difference between biological sex and gender as a social construct, the limits of GAC/SRS (i.e. "it's a controversial therapy meant to relieve gender dysphoria, but it doesn't actually change a person's sex"), why "cotton ceiling" discourse is problematic ("no one should feel pressured to have sex with someone they're not attracted to, for any reason"), and the importance of enthusiastic consent. Obviously I'm alarmed that she's feeling pressure to change herself in order to fit in with her peers, but I don't want her intro into lesbian culture and community to be all about GC stuff, either.

So I'm feeling alone and at a loss for how to guide her. I don't know any other GC but feminist/pro-LGB parents in my real life, except for a couple of lesbian friends from college I lost contact with a long time ago (no fallings out, we just grew apart). Can you help me help her?

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HoneycreeperBird LesbianDecember 18, 2024

I wouldn’t recommend that to a 12 yr old who is still very impressionable. It’s different if it were a lesbian woman who’s secure within herself to know its gender bullshit, but not a kid.

[Deleted]December 18, 2024(Edited December 18, 2024)

That's fair, too - I forget I'm old and cynical sometimes - She-Ra of your own digression, OOP***