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ventWhy are there so many polyamorous women on dating apps?
I haven't been on dating apps for a few years and it used to be I would com across the occasional couple or polyamorous woman. But this time I feel like it is more women who already have boyfriends/husbands looking to also date a woman or looking for threesomes. It's really frustrating to want to date a single woman, I don't want to be second to some guy or even another woman. And the women will loads of time only post pictures of themselves and not their boyfriends. At this point it feels a little homophobic to not allow women to have monogamous relationships with each other because of the volume of polyamorous women making it impossible for single monogamous women to find each other. TiMs are such a minuscule problem compared to polyamorous women. Anyone else finding this issue?
All the male-partnered women I've met that are "polyamorous" have abusive relationships. Every single one. Without fail. (And there are Onion articles mocking my region for the popularity polyamory has here, so I know wayyyy too many.)
Polyamory appears to have become worse with COVID - I think there are a lot of relationships on their last legs and men can push harder for polyamory as the woman's last-ditch effort to "make it work". This goes double in areas where the cost of living is higher and men make disproportionately more money than the women. There's a lot of economic incentive to please the man, because most single women can't afford to live in high COL areas.
Yeah i agree with FlorenceBlue that it's the spicy straights. I honestly feel too old to want to be someone's experiment.
I haven't been on a dating app in years, but I assume it's due to:
All the women who want real relationships don’t go to those websites & the ones who have SA trauma or attachment issues use it as a supply of external validation, number one.
Number two, men have convinced women that they can’t expect fidelity, so women feel they have to play the game like men do; “if you’re going to sleep around then so am I!”… when all they really want is a healthy loving relationship; to be “chosen.”
But where do they go if they want real relationships?
Question of the ages!
Trouble is that of course all of the former human institutions like townships, gatherings, groups, churches, etc. aren’t really in place anymore. Online is just a meat market; another capitalist menu.
Best bet is to do the inefficient work of “putting yourself out there”… going to the places and activities you care about & be vulnerable. There are some dating apps that charge you money and say that they connect you with someone. But that is also a crapshoot.
For some of them at least I think it's their boyfriends putting them up to it. I started chatting up a girl a while back and it turned out her boyfriend was monitoring the whole conversation. I quickly noped out of that one.
I always make sure to put it in my profile that I'm not interested in polyamory
Probably because it is near impossible to find a woman looking to be the odd one out of a threesome in real life
That's the most infuriating part of this whole nonsense. They pick on us because they don't see us as equals worthy of respect. They would never try that shit on the straight side of dating apps, and never ever even dream about pairing up with another unicorn hunter couple and have one of the men sit out.
Everything else aside, the casual culture of dating apps fits well with the causal culture of polyamory.
My guess is that almost no one in the real world wants them. And it is probably difficult to find the infinitesimally few women willing to be with them and the pos men they are with.
I think it's just how the math works out, monogamous people obviously aren't on dating apps once they find someone, but poly people stay on the apps forever. There aren't that many lesbians on the planet, so a relatively small influx of TIMs or married bi women looking for threesomes/side chicks can quickly become a huge percentage of wlw app users, especially as you get older and more people in your cohort are partnered.
What the apps need to do is have more filter settings so that you can sort people out who don't match your criteria. I know the TIMs would all refuse to check the TIM box and think that they can go stealth, but ideally there could be some kind of reporting feature where if enough people flag an account as a TIM the app would put them in that category so that they stop showing up in searches. It really is so time consuming, but actual women are out there, hope you have good luck soon!