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Recently, whenever I encounter a man spouting the same bullshit I've heard over and over I've internally labeled it as "The Whine".

And I'm sure you all have your own examples of this. I'm sure many of you immediately get what I'm talking about.

It's the "but men have it worsssse..." "Yeah, but womenn.." "Why can't boyss be boyss anymoree.?" "No one cares about us boohoo" etc etc (Feel free to add)

Fuck off you privileged, selfcentered assholes. Fuck your fragile egos, that can't take a single criticism of men as a class, because you take it personal and women are supposed to coddle you or else they are mean b*tches and feminism is suddenly all bullshit.

Recently, whenever I encounter a man spouting the same bullshit I've heard over and over I've internally labeled it as "The Whine". And I'm sure you all have your own examples of this. I'm sure many of you immediately get what I'm talking about. It's the "but men have it worsssse..." "Yeah, but womenn.." "Why can't boyss be boyss anymoree.?" "No one cares about us boohoo" etc etc (Feel free to add) Fuck off you privileged, selfcentered assholes. Fuck your fragile egos, that can't take a single criticism of men as a class, because you take it personal and women are supposed to coddle you or else they are mean b*tches and feminism is suddenly all bullshit.

47 comments

For me it's the "Men aren't allowed to have feelings!" whine.

Since fucking when? Every goddamn book I was required to read in lit class was written by a man about man-feelings. Every Oscar night celebrates the stories of men and their manly feelings. World history and current politics are 90% men's feelings and their poor decisions based thereon.

I have literally never known a man who actually repressed his feelings. I've known men who refused to ARTICULATE their feelings--you know, like a grown up--and instead expect women to read their minds and anticipate man-feelings at every turn. I've known men who DISPLACE their feelings, like by hurting everyone around them whenever they themselves feel hurt or sad. And I've known men who refuse to MANAGE their feelings, because emotional regulation is for the servant class not for the masters.

But I'm not convinced that men could even recognize "emotional repression." It's like how men don't even know what a makeup-free face looks like, and instead think that a face full of "natural" makeup is bare. They have no concept of how much artifice and effort goes into the default female behavior patterns, because they've never been expected to perform any similar work.

They'll say that bullshit on one breath and in the next, mock their buddy for crying after a breakup.

They do this shit to themselves. I've witnessed it countless times. Women aren't the reason men don't feel comfortable crying and talking about their stupid feelings - their fellow men are!

Change begins with them, but of course they expect women to do it bc it's emotional labor

Do you know who's not allowed to have feelings? Women. 'No, it's fine, I'm not mad/sad/upset/disappointed.' 'Oh thank you so much! What a beautiful compliment/gift/favour.' And let's not get into who has to fake enjoying themselves, in bed or in the service industry.

Right?! Why do they act like women are coddled and handled with kid gloves when we're upset? We are told to stop crying, that we're overreacting, that our feelings aren't valid

Right?

Which sex gets commanded to "smile" by random strangers any time they leave the house?

Which sex is shushed more frequently, starting in literal infancy?

Which sex is brought up to see the emotions of the opposite sex as, essentially, a natural disaster that cannot possibly be controlled by anyone (boys will be boys!)?

This is absolutely a hill I will die on: Men are not, and have never been, emotionally repressed. Men are not, and have never been, denied freedom of expression due to their sex. Men tell this lie as a patriarchal reversal of reality and they know it.

I was writing about this a while back either here or on Spinster, and I pointed out that men's emotions have consequences--a man expressing any kind of sadness, anger or even mild discomfort is a blaring siren for every woman in the vicinity to immediately mobilise to deal with it. And a man expressing an emotion is srs bsns--I don't know if you're familiar with 'Nonviolent Communication' (NVC) but in a training I pointed out to the teachers that it only works for men--their 'when you do this I feel that, and that makes me unhappy, I'd like it if you'd do this instead' communication formulation shocks people into compliance when men use it, but a woman saying something like that will get you a 'so what, who cares?'

Hard agree - literally every legal system on earth is based around trying to deal with the consequences of men expressing their feelings.

[–] Inksteiner 23 points Edited

What's rich is when they use "the whine" to whine about how they want compliments.

"Oh, women always get compliments, they are so wanted. They are drowning in the ocean whilst we poor men are dying in the desert... :( "

I find this hilarious for a couple of reasons.

  1. You have done nothing that deserved a compliment. You have never gone above and beyond in anything. Men who do more than the bare minimum get lots of compliments. What I hear from these losers is that doing the bare minimum and not being a trash human being is HARD and they deserve a compliment because they are capping their potential. Ha. Rich. Cry harder.

  2. It's the easiest thing to solve. Compliment each other more. But no. They openly said to me that it doesn't feel the same- they want WOMEN to compliment them. Because they feel attractive and wanted when women do it- in other words they want the women to flirt aka "I want women to be attracted to me for my basic deeds" so they can justify their creeping as "I thought she was interested in me, bro? Why else would a woman compliment me. They never compliment meeeeee." Let me say, you are the reason that women learn to never compliment men at the age of 23

  3. Men can only compliment to flirt to whom they are attracted to. They never really mean it. So that's why it's "gay" and "demeaning" to compliment other men. So they only ever think of complimenting young, thin, beautiful girls. They never think that older women, fat women, or ugly women ever get compliments because they never think of giving it to them... but they don't count, the only enviable women are the ones they are attracted to.

  4. Last but not least, they think that sexual harassment and compliments are the same. That analogy of women drowning in them holds true- the water is not drinkable and there are things in the water that want and will kill us. Then they call use privileged whilst being the ones to knock us back when we try to get out.

edit: elaborating on some points after giving it some thoughts

I’ve been hearing this shit from other women lately and it’s driving me crazy. My mother-in-law actually told me that mass shootings are happening more and more because men aren’t allowed to be aggressive. IN WHAT UNIVERSE ARE MEN NOT ALLOWED TO BE AGGRESSIVE?!?! Ok it’s too earlier for me to get this worked up.

[–] formerTRA [OP] 23 points Edited

Don't you know? When women are violent, it's women's fault. When men are violent, it's also women's fault /s

Men are simply no longer allowed to go on a f*cking rampage whenever they feel like it. Can't have that.

They literally are allowed to rampage though. It is practically encouraged.

[–] BlackCirce 🔮🐖🐖🐖 14 points

Again, George Carlin’s pit idea turns the problem of male aggression into the solution.

The problem is that men are allowed to be aggressive. Hence the mass shootings.

Ikr, I STILL can't believe it's now "illegal" to beat your spouse for burning the pot roast. Won't someone, anyone, think of the men?!

The Whine that's been getting under my skin the most lately is men complaining about how lonely it is to be a man and blaming 'society' (specifically women) for it. When look, a lot of our lifestyles aren't doing us any favors in the human contact department, and loneliness is pretty epidemic, but the degree to which women often have more of a social support network is because we build it, not because "society" hands it to us. I hear this particular Whine the most from men who are bad at being friends and then complain they don't have good friends, who burn bridges with everyone who gives them a chance by being shitty to them, etc. I see this Whine get posted publicly and watch many of our particularly naïve sisters flock to comfort the poor wounded puppy...and watch him either completely ignore their offered support, angrily lash out at them, or take it as an opportunity to try to get sexual with them.

You want people to care about you, value your company, support you, want to spend time with you, offer a shoulder to cry on when you need one? Then pull your heads out of your asses and be good to other people, dipshits. Be the friend you'd like to have, and be discerning in who you give the best of your friendship to. Be someone people like to be around, be supportive, offer help, kindness, and/or comfort when they need it without turning around and handing them a bill after the fact. Be there for your friends when they need it, not just when you feel like it and it's convenient for you. Bring more to the table than being a warm body to game with or drink with, being someone to crack mean-spirited jokes with, tolerating each other's worst behavior; find people you have more in common with than shared hate and resentment for the people who reject you. Take care of your hygiene and take care of yourself; don't make your every little problem your friends' problem, get a job and pay your bills before you spend your paycheck on fun shit you don't need, games, booze, weed. Create fun things for your friends and acquaintances to do, invite them, and prioritize making it a good time for them.

Nobody gives us the life you want and no one can, we make it. You really want it? Put in the work, develop the social skills, and actually give a damn about people beyond yourself and what you're getting out of them.

This is all good advice. Men are taught to expect their female partners to do all the social management/emotional labour for them.

just partners? I have a friend who I've stopped spending time with because he literally expects me and my girlfriend to BRING HIM WOMEN. not joking. he asks us to make friends with women so he can get to know more women. then he cant remember the name of a friend I introduced to him just as a friend because of course he didnt want to nail that friend.

they're all trash.

[–] no- 14 points

On a reddit post called “what are men not ready to hear” or something like that, there was a heavily downvoted comment saying that men are violent and dangerous. The replies were all men whining that women are just as violent because, apparently, emotional abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse. No, physical abuse is obviously more harmful, and it’s not like men don’t abuse emotionally as well.

Women are in no world emotionally abusing people to higher rates than men are.

Men are just more quick to label women's behaviour as abusive than vice versa. "By pointing out my abusive behaviour, you are emotionally abusing me!!" -> the thinking pattern of many men.

Sadly this is often validated by society because people are very quick to label an abusive relationship as "toxic from both sides" when the woman isn't just laying down accepting the emotional abuse but calling it out.

Survivors of abuse find the emotional abuse harder to recover from than the physical.

[–] no- 11 points

That’s true. But physical violence can kill you and permanently injure you. Rape is physical violence. While emotional abuse is extremely harmful, physical violence is still worse.

Right? When someone posts about their mom physically abusing them, it doesn't even occur to me to comment, "NOT ALL MOMS ARE ABUSIVE, I'M A MOM AND I DON'T BEAT MY KID!!!!1111one"

You have to be a really insecure fucking asshole, or a perpetrator to do that

males: we need help! no one cares about our mental health!

women: okay so go to therapy

males: lol therapy is for pussies

[–] furyosa no, thank you 14 points

Haha, I like it. Let me try it out:

Accountability for men's shitty values and behaviors is the only way they can grow out of their current depraved state as a sex class. Accountability hurts when you're used to being coddled. Let 'The Whine' fall on deaf ears as we strengthen our sisters to hold men accountable for their transgressions.

As much as they may need one, not every woman is their mommy.

Yep. My ex loudly proclaims he is a feminist and yet blames the demise of our relationship on feminism. Taking a page out of the Misogynist's Doublespeak Handbook.

When my own partner doesn’t know how to use his words like a big boy, gets defensive in arguments, has a big spat of anger for some reason that is either extremely superficial or he doesn’t have the words to express, I treat him like a toddler.

“Can you use your words ☺️😊?”

“I need you to stop throwing a temper tantrum and calm down”

Etc. It initially makes him more angry but then he apologizes which he doesn’t typically do, probably because men respond best to shame rather than discussion.

I’ve opted to use this for other things. All the men freaking out about black people in LOTR or the new Ariel—what insane temper tantrums over fictional series.

Men upset that women are in marvel series? “What a temper tantrum over superhero’s in capes.”

Online at least, this has them rage type back to me “YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN IT ISNT FANTASY ITS A (whateve) FOLKLORE PEOPLE ARE TAKING AWAY MY CULTURE ARIEL IS NOT A FISH SHES A HUMANOID CREATURE HALF FISH HALF HUMAN, I HAVE NOTHING LEFT IN MY LIFE BECAUSE MEDIA IS TAKING AWAY MY CULTURE . WHY ISNT PRETTY WARRIOR ELF MORE FEMININE I HATE AROMOR OR WOMEN WAAAAAAA”

I get a lot of pleasure out of those responses, and more importantly, people reading will see their initial comment was born out of childish immaturity And deep insecurity.

Ugh how do you tolerate this behavior? Is he really good in bed or rich or something?

I don't think I could fuck a dude I had to treat like a toddler. That's unacceptable behavior, he should be ashamed of himself

men respond best to shame rather than discussion

Sounds interesting, I definitely have to try it out!

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