This girl posted on relationship advice basically saying her boyfriend's repeated past use of sex workers worries her about the way he must see women.. (Name: I found out that before we met my boyfriend has slept with several paid women/sex workers.)
This post goes VIRAL and its full of "ex sex workers" and men telling her how shes a shamer and how its totally normal and his repeated use is "just because he doesn't want to wank for the 500th time" (because women are masturbation alternatives? really)
Look at some of these responses:
Ex sex worker here. Someone who gets repeats is someone who didnt end up on our blacklist usually. If he is kind, it means he understands it was a service and nothing more. Ive had tons of clients (majority actually) like this. The majority of regulars were just normal dudes who didnt want to wank for the 500th time in a row.
I also wanted to add that I think the fact he was honest with her about his past honestly speaks a lot to his character and attitude of openness and honesty in a relationship, which is all great foundational evidence that he's likely not a shitty dude.
Yep. So many men carry so much shame around sexuality that they’ll lie and keep secrets, even about how often they use porn. His honesty could be an indicator that he’s emotionally healthier than the average guy out there. It could be a red flag, but only if there are other red flags surrounding the issue. If he has no red flags aside from this topic, I’d take it as a positive sign that he’s honest and transparent.
Former escort and pro domme here... Sex work is real work and isn't in any way immoral or "wrong". Having been a client of one sex worker or 100 does not mean he will cheat or doesn't respect women. Also, for what it's worth, any SW with any level of professionalism gets tested regularly, practices safe sex and treats it like any other job.
I'd rather my bf pay for sex than be dishonest with women when he really just wants sex. (yes I know women do this too).
My friend/roommate paid for sex, a lot. We'd go out to a bar or club, he'd disappear and we'd find him hours later at our apartment with one, sometimes two sex workers. He then met this girl (not a sex worker), married her and never looked back. It's been more than a decade since. They have children now. I know for a fact that he's loyal and hasn't paid for sex since he met his now wife.