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HumorMost hilarious examples of male insecurity you've witnessed?
Sometimes I think toxic masculinity and machismo culture ends up being mens' greatest weakness, because it renders them so fragile and insecure at any perceived slight. Here are a few hilarious examples from memory:
Knew a guy who HATED the film Titanic. Like, he claimed that it was responsible for "female degeneracy" or smth, I forgot exactly how he worded it. I think he even blamed his own girlfriend's infidelity on Titanic. He would go on long rants about how Rose "gets a free pass" to cheat on her fiancé and that it encourages women to be unfaithful to their partners by portraying it so romantically. Never mind, of course, that she was practically forced into an arranged marriage with an abusive asshole against her will, apparently the real problem here is that she's cheating!
A friend of mine going into the medical field told her boyfriend that she was interested in specializing in gynecology. Her boyfriend LOSES IT, says that she must secretly be a lesbian and wants to look at vaginas all day because apparently there is no other explanation for a woman being interested in women's health (I suspect part of the reason he felt threatened was because she had a close friend -- me -- who was a lesbian, and he probably thought I was gonna steal her away or something, lol). Fortunately she broke up with that loser about two months later.
Another guy I knew was obsessed with some random 4chan conspiracy theory about soy products being loaded with estrogen or smth to forcibly feminize men. When I told him it was far more likely that animal products would contain more synthetic hormones (in some countries, chickens, cows etc receive estrogen to make them gain weight faster, tho I think this might be illegal in the US) he lost his shit and told me to have fun dying from malnutrition (I'm vegetarian).
What are your funny stories of fragile masculinity? I've had a rough week and need a good laugh!
One woman told me her husband wouldn't let her breastfeed because he said her breasts belonged to him, not the baby.
That's so gross. It reminds me of an article I once read about African men literally stealing the breast milk from their babies' mouths.
Omg, men will use it to help put on muscle. They'll get it from their partners or their friends' partners. I understand there's a gray market for it.
That’s what men need. More muscles. Great idea.
It's not like babies need milk, or anything 🙄
Julie Bindel wrote a great article about it. The comments are...predictable.
I've seen multiple cases of women not breastfeeding because the male partner would feel "jealous" or "left out".
(It wouldn't surprise me if there's big overlap with that segment and AGPs coming out of the woodwork today).
Holy shit so it's not just one asshole, but a widespread phenomenon??
I've definitely read about men getting jealous because their own babies "stole" their wives' breasts.
These dudes should not be allowed to reproduce… or even be partners to women in general. Cast them all off to a penal colony of other perverted and/or misogynistic males.
Shit like this makes me think maybe Freud was right all along
Ehhh. He might’ve been right about a couple things (broken clock and all), but he also thought that women who had been sexually assaulted by their fathers were just imagining it because they wanted to have sex with them. He sucks.
He was also wrong about women having penis envy. It couldn’t be clearer that instead, men have womb envy.
Even worse, he initially believed the women, but "changed his mind" and sided with their abusers, who were generally footing the bill for his services.
I was visiting my parents back when my dad was well. My mom was at work.
I knew he had been trying to fix the lawnmower for awhile before I got there. I was sitting inside and heard it working. He came in and I said, hey good job you fixed it!
He said yeah but don't tell mom that I did it the Women's Way.
me: What's the women's way?
Dad: (so soft a mumble I strained to hear) "I read the instructions."
He wasn't joking, which I learned after I burst out laughing. Of course the first thing I did when my mom got home was tell her.
My dad used to say this as a joke, " well the mans way (hittin it, swearing at it, generally dicking around with it) isnt working. I guess ill have to try the womans way, aka the correct way (check the instructions, use the correct tools, make a plan, know when to call in help)"
Good god. What was your mom's reaction?
She laughed too. And we both still tell the story. He pouted for awhile but got over it.
This is hilarious to me because I never read instructions and my Nigel always does.
Decades ago I was walking back to our office with my workmates after a client meeting. One of them, a small woman, was wearing a then-fashionable 'astronaut' jacket. I casually remarked that women make better astronauts than men - we take up less space, use less oxygen, have a higher pain tolerance, have more physical stamina, react better in emergencies (I'm sure there were other reasons as well). And one of the men just flipped out. He was so incredibly wounded by this statement, it was unreal.
Omg I've had men get insecure at me for bringing up the pain tolerance as well!
One night I was... mildly intoxicated, and walking around barefoot on a friend's patio during a party when I accidentally step on an exposed nail. I didn't realize I was wounded until I went inside and noticed I was tracking blood on his floor! I was mortified, but he was a good sport about it and was laughing it off. We disinfect and bandage the cut and as I'm helping him clean my own blood out of the carpet, I apologize again, saying I truly didn't even feel the pain. He says I must have a high pain tolerance because he would've felt it long before, and I joke that on average, women generally have a higher pain tolerance than men. Suddenly his expression turns sour and he curtly says "No, you were drunk. That's why you didn't feel it." and his attitude does a COMPLETE 180. He starts talking about how idiotic it was for me to walk around barefoot on the patio in the first place (I guess it was but that's besides the point lol), haven't I heard about tetanus, etc.
He sounds like he’d make a terrible astronaut.
I had a friend who got incredibly mad at me when he learned I'd beaten his younger brother (12) at Mario kart a few times. Mind you, we were not children ourselves, I was like 21-22 and he was like 25-26 at the time. He was insistent that I needed to make sure if I ever played any games with the kid (which I had been regularly because the poor kid had to come stay with my friend due to their mother having health problems and he had no friends there and was bored and lonely) I needed to lose, because somehow losing to a "girl" would "destroy his confidence and make it so he'll never get a girlfriend". Apparently this applied to everything as well, including sports and anything academic. Because obviously a 12 year old boy can have no self worth whatsoever if he is not better than a fully grown adult woman at everything.
I just have to say, I find it really weird when ostensibly mature adults are overly concerned about normal children's future ability to date, marry, or raise children. Maybe it's ok if they finish middle school first?
Meh that's actually my main concern about transitioning children - obviously this dude's concern was misplaced and stupid but fact remains, removing children's future ability to have fulfilling romantic relationships is ethically wrong
I think we're both referring to slightly different versions of the same thing, adults trying to force supposedly gender non-conforming kids into gender conformity. Your example is the extreme, but logical, endpoint of the attitude on display in mine.
One of my former friends (who incidentally turned out to be an alt-right 4chan chud, who I stopped being friends with when he put me in the "fuckzone" as it were) was watching me play a video game that had a cute easter egg I wanted to share with him: if your character isn't wearing shoes and kicks open a treasure chest, he does an extra animation where he grabs his foot and hops a couple times.
So I told my friend I wanted to show him a cool touch they did (being vague to not spoil it) and then, to set it up, removed the character's bottom armor to make him barefoot. For reference, when you do this he'll be wearing a modest/normal swimsuit that looks like this (but also imagine he's wearing a shirt too). Also worth mentioning is this is a family-friendly game.
He fucking loses it when he sees I took off the dude's pants, getting so uncomfortable and looking... "paranoid" I think is the closest description I can think of. But he literally out loud asked me something similar to "Are you getting off on this?", and then (I am not making this up, I genuinely am not) "Is this how girls feel all of the time [when seeing sexualized female characters everywhere]?"
I just stared at him silently and pointedly, in shock a bit.
Omfg that's crazy!!! Esp considering Link literally starts out in the game wearing only shorts and without a shirt, iirc!!! And it's so incredibly tame!!! Also, I did not know about that little Easter egg; I'll have to try it the next time I play BotW!
Reminds me of something similar... World of Warcraft has Warlock players able to summon a Succubus demon, which looks... about as hypersexualized as one might expect. This has been in the game since its launch in 2004.
Well, a couple years ago, Blizzard surprised us by adding a male version to the game, an Incubus, wearing nothing but a thong/loincloth and has similar "suggestive" animations and abilities. Functionally, they're identical in terms of gameplay, with the only difference being cosmetic.
Hilariously, men lost their shit over this, calling it disgusting and degrading and too "gay" and complaining about double standards and how "kids play this game too" and even that it was "pushing an agenda." The best part is that when the devs added the optional Incubus, the spell that by default used to only summon a succubus, now had a 50% chance to summon an incubus instead (the player now must visit a Warlock Trainer in any major city to set their preference). So, a lot of dudes that didn't know about the change were expecting a sexy female demon, only to be horrified that the spell gave them a male stripper following them around instead! The forums were flooded with complaints and it was really funny.
For this reason I enjoy using the incubus on my Warlock, especially in PvP -- the Succubus/Incubus has a crowd-control ability called "seduce" which essentially keeps a player "charmed" by the demon and unable to attack, and I like to think it bothers men a lot to see their character getting charmed by a scanty-clad male demon, lmfao.
Oh wow that's a great point, I forgot about that!! At the time he hadn't actually played the game yet, but I wonder if he ever did and how he reacted to seeing that at the start. I mean, it totally makes sense why he'd wouldn't be clothed at the beginning based on the story, just like how men write female characters whose objectification "makes sense" because they're distracting their opponents or breathe through their skin or used to be insecure but now they feel empowered enough to wear bikini armor or etc. etc.
Anyway, I'm glad that at the end of all that wackiness I ended up being able to share that Easter egg with someone who enjoyed it after all :) Second BotW chest-opening-animation Easter egg!! There are a few chests that are in spots that force Link to crouch, so when he opens them a different animation of him punching the chest open (and then shaking his hand haha) plays! :D
Oh my god it's so funny you mention the Warlock summons, my boyfriend has actually been getting me into WoW and he literally told me about the Incubus as a selling point to try out Warlock hahaha!! He didn't mention the whole male entitlement fiasco though, but I am 100% not surprised in the slightest. In fact, I'm actually surprised they didn't do anything worse than just whine on forums... but I'm getting ahead of myself haha.
It's insane how the same men who completely discredit women's experiences with sexual objectification (either by saying it's not a big deal, it's just fiction, you should be flattered, etc. or just outright denying there's a double standard because male power fantasy characters are shirtless sometimes) absolutely explode when they're the ones being objectified. Even though said objectification is: extremely rare, usually not as dehumanizing, definitely doesn't lead to nor remind them of real-world prejudice against them, sometimes created with only SSA men in mind with women getting something out of it is an unintentional side effect, and almost always only happens when being made as a counterpart to female objectification (because it's just natural and necessary to have, and if there's a male version it only comes about alongside the mandatory female one).
And the Incubi are such a perfect example of it, too!!! Both because they're in general treated as the male counterpart to succubi (no one's ever called a succubi "female incubi"; again, funny how it works out that the only time something is female by default is when it's pornographic), and because in WoW they were created second to accompany the Succubus summon literal decades afterward, and even then you can opt out of seeing him!!!
Female Warlock mains had to put up with seeing targeted sexual objectification for years and years, but the moment men saw the Incubus (which, again, came much later, can be swapped for the Succubus, and doesn't perpetuate sexism against men) they threw a fit. It's almost like they know male sexuality is about dehumanization but only care when they're the target of it because women aren't fully human to them...?
Anyway you're absolutely based for being a fellow Incubus enjoyer :) And if you still play and wouldn't mind babysitting a WoW noob, I'd love to hang out and have you show me the ropes!!
If I'm allowed to rant a little longer and share my own "men cannot take a microscopic fraction of the sexualization they dish out on women" stories, I play Genshin Impact. (I'm very sorry, I promise I repent daily for my crimes.) If you haven't seen the female character designs before already, they're about what you'd expect from an anime gacha game. In fact, I was going to share example pics of the most egregious ones, but there are so many it'd actually be easier to just show you the ones that aren't awful.
As of writing this there are (not counting the MC since you can choose either a guy or gal) 43 playable adult female characters in the game, and of them, only three ladies don't have (overtly) sexualized elements to their designs. (I say overtly because there are little things, plus they've made literally all of them wear heels despite this being an open-world exploration game with lots of combat because of fucking course women wear heels when hiking and fighting.) In fact, some of the earlier characters' designs were so sexualized that the Chinese government forced the devs to create new outfits for them to comply with media standards over there*. Here's a side-by-side comparison of them if you're curious.
(*Not a fan of censorship at all, but neither am I a fan of lying, yet if a kid who's throwing tantrums about eating veggies can be convinced to eat them if her mom tells her they're candy that just looks like veggies, I'm all for it.)
Anyway, Story #1: As per usual, any women who criticized these designs or enjoyed the new outfits more were bombarded with angry incels defending their waifus' clothing choices. And, again, as per usual for men arguing with women on this topic, their go-to rebuttal was to make a false equivalency about how this one (1) singular male character is wearing a jacket that shows off the tiniest triangle of his abdomen, which is obviously very comparable to literally every female character until very recently (and even then only a few!!) wearing borderline-lingiere and having jiggle physics.
But that's not all!! Story #2: A little while ago, they released a new male character who, for the very first time, is actually wearing an outfit that's rather sexualized! They even posed him in his promo art like female characters are typically drawn!! For once, was a good time to be alive and be one of (as the gendie saying goes) the girlies and the gays. Except if you were a Korean incel, that is.
They hated this character and what he represented (again, interesting that these guys slobber over their waifus but if someone wants a similarly designed husbando they throw a tantrum) so much they mass disliked his reveal trailer, went on misogynistic and homophobic rants on forums, and went so far as to doxx a redditor who was investigating their shitty behavior!!! Plus as a bonus, you can see other examples of delightful behavior from misogynistic Korean male gamers shared by other people as well!
TL;DR 1) Why are men. 2) I thoroughly enjoyed getting to chat with a GC female gamer very very much and would love to keep in touch and/or play games together sometime!!
Hahahahahaha they wouldn't ever resist one month as a woman 😂 so pathetic!
This guy got all worked up about you undressing Link? Now that's fragile!
I know right?!? And again, I left his top on too, it was just the bottoms that came off!! Truly no words for how bent out of shape men get when experiencing 1/10000000th of what women do, and not even with the same context or intent.
I once met a guy who told me his father had taught him that singing was unmanly.
Singing, I kid you not.
If such men weren't usually horrible misogynists, I might almost pity them. Trapped in a prison of their own making. Sounds like a very sad life.
Ex-hub and I once ate in a Chinese restaurant where you could choose the "heat level" of your dish. I didn't want anything spicy that day and went with "no hot " (1). Big macho ex-hub decided that these people didn't know what hot was, that they couldn't make it hot enough for him, and that he wanted his kung pao chicken "spicy hot" (5). Well, it was too damned hot.
He kept eating that stuff long past the point of obvious physical discomfort--sweating, red in the face, watering eyes--while I quietly enjoyed my meal. And he finally gave up and sulked about it for the rest of the day.
Same guy was furious once when I didn't refuse to eat my meal and demand a refund because there was something wrong with HIS meal and he wanted a refund. It was very unsupportive of me, apparently, to sit there eating instead of going hungry to comfort him while he steamed and fumed and sulked.
Men are soooooo goofy about the spicy food thing. It's like they see it as some kind of passing contest to be able to eat the spiciest food ever. I like a bit of spice in my food but I also like to be able to actually taste my food, too!
A male colleague refused to wear mens thermal leggings under his work pants because leggings are for girls. He kept shivering and whining about his legs being cold. If only there existed a piece of clothing made to fix that problem...
Not too manly to whine, was he?
Whining is the ultimate masculine behavior
Or not intelligent enough to google some ultra manly macho thing like a trip to the Antarctic or up Everest to see what big rugged bearded men wore for that.
Or simply drop by an adventure clothing store and see the vast amount of thermal underclothing and "long johns" on sale for both sexes.
I like when men freak out over being expected to use basic tools instead of everyone pretending that they have freakish/magical special abilities and don't need to like the rest of us plebians. See: men who construct things and insist on 'eyeballing' them instead of measuring and marking, using squares and levels, etc. Men who refuse to use a map or GPS when they don't know where they are. And so on.
Also men who get offended when you want them to put down their damn phone when driving because no, they're not special, and texting and driving isn't safe when they do it either. And neither is driving drunk. And the usual argument that they can do these things because they're such good drivers is BS because bare minimum even to be a mediocre driver you don't text and drive or drive drunk. You are a bad driver, dude. Enjoy your insurance premiums while you tell yourself women are worse drivers because you saw one of us scrape a curb while parking the other day.
Omg men claiming women are worse drivers is pure copium. Insurance companies only care about their profit margins at the end of the day, and maleness is considered a risk factor for very good reason...
My alcoholic father, who frequently even drank while driving (to my astonishment the lucky bastard never got a DUI) was convinced that women were horrible drivers and never let me or my mother drive him anywhere.
So like every man fucks around with his phone while driving? I just haven’t been dealt a particularly bad group of men in my life?
I said a newborn boy was a beautiful baby and the grandfather said "boys aren't beautiful, they're handsome".
Awww... this reminds me of when I was in high school I told a friend her little brother had long and pretty eyelashes, she said he didn't like it because other boys teased him and said he looked like a girl. :(
The whole being terrified of vegetarians and vegans. Thinking recycling is effeminate.
Oh food.
Apparently, Christmas cookies are unmanly, too. Unless you make them with beer.
(I once saw such a recipe in a men's food magazine. It was quite hilarious. The magazine was, of course, mainly about beef.)
Every time I say I'm a vegetarian an overweight man goes 'well I love STEAK' I'm like maybe you could do with a vegetarian diet Trevor
This is a genuine problem that may end up killing us.
This was many many years ago with my high school boyfriend. We would spend our weekend dates either going to the movies or going bowling, because those were the only real "dating" activities available in our small town.
When we went bowling, he won probably 95% of the time; I can only remember two or three games, ever, that I beat him. But oh my God, the breakdown that he experienced when I did.
It wasn't so much that he threw a tantrum, but when it became obvious that he was having a terrible game and that he was going to lose, he would sullen and crabby. I couldn't believe how badly it bothered him to lose to a girl even once out of every time we bowled. Just wild.
My brother and I played a lot of video games together when we were kids. He was better than me at most games, especially tactical games and first-person shooters, but I was better than him at 2D fighting games. I forgot which game it was, maybe Marvel vs Capcom 3? But this was the first time I actually saw him lose his shit over a video game and he decided he never wanted to play it ever again because it wasn't "fun" anymore.
Oh I've got another one (probably have lots but I'll keep the sharing to a minimum) - at an office one day, sunny in the morning but pouring down rain by lunchtime. Male colleague had not brought an umbrella, wanted to go out to get something to eat. I offered to lend him the spare umbrella I kept in my desk drawer. He literally, physically shied away from it, refused to take it, apparently preferred to get sopping wet rather than hold an umbrella that wasn't black (when I tell people this I say 'it wasn't the one with venus symbols and vulvas on it' - it was, IIRC, a dark blue check pattern). As often happens when I reflect back on things like this, I realise that this guy had probably been beaten up as a child for touching 'girl things' - the physical reaction I saw that day was shocking and extreme.
Some dude at work arguing with me in front of the other dude there who happens to be his friend on something, refusing to hand me the BOL so I could show he had the wrong freight. He literally handed it the other dude first, who doesn't handle this freight, and yanked it from my hand after the other dude handed it to me instead. I asked FOUR times can I see that before he finally handed me it. As usual, I was right that he did something incorrectly and had the wrong paperwork matched up.
The best part was the next day when he tried to start shit or mock me or something idk n idc. The other dude who's literally the manager told him to grab the pallet I said to grab, he goes "can we verify it first", I respond "I did, it's that one", manager backs me up, and the insecure dude loudly says something like "well we all know LEGOPANTS knows everything!" in a mocking like tone, so I just said back "yes, I do"
Not my story. You might have heard it. There’s this typical southern American country girl who’s building / renovating (?) her house and she catches fish with her hands.
Anyways, guy on social media says, “you must be gay to date this tomboy.” (Paraphrased)
Imagine how fragile his ego must be to feel threatened by this feminine woman who is self-sufficient. MRAs really don’t see women as people developing skills to survive wherever they live but as pretty props on their life stage.
This isn't hilarious, more sad and VERY racist. But it's quintessential male fragility. I know a guy who has an open relationship arrangement with his wife (his idea ofc), where they can hookup with other people. There is the condition that she's not allowed to sleep with black men 😐 He's white and I get the feeling 🤏
Not playing as female characters in video games. Refusing to eat anything they perceive to be remotely phallic, like hot dogs, bananas, popsicles, etc because porn brains. Pissing contests in general. I've heard plenty of men bragging about how hard they "beat the shit out of someone".
Not playing as female characters in video games.
Funny enough I've even heard men declare the opposite. A lot of men only play female characters in MMORPGs and such because, in their words, "if I have to stare at someone's ass for hours I'd rather it be a girl's ass."
I'm giddy at the idea that this must have created a catch-22 situation for a lot of men. Too afraid to play a female character because they're terrified of being seen as unmasculine, and too afraid of playing a male character because just looking at a male-shaped bunch of polygons is too gay for them.
Yes I've seen that! Let's not get started on the "romance" options in video games for straight males vs straight women/gay men.
Typically half a dozen porn models vs two scaly lizardmen.
I was having a drink with a (female) friend at an outdoor, long communal table, when two guys sat down with their drinks at the end of the table. One of them inserted himself into our conversation, and I noticed his pupils were blown out. Figuring he was high, I chatted with him for a bit, then when the conversation got into some strange territory, I asked him how high he was.
He stared at me like I'd slapped him. "I'm not high! I never would!"
"Really? Your pupils are massive, I just assumed."
He turned to his friend, still aghast, and his friend said, "To be fair, mate, they are massive "
He got up and left, and his friend said goodbye and chased after him.
Haha this reminds me of a guy who tried to chat me up (we were outside):
“I’m a pretty chill guy - I admit I do smoke weed sometimes”
“Yeah, I figured”
“What, just because I’m black you assume I smoke weed?!”
”Dude you are holding a lit spliff in your hand right now”
(looks down at the spliff in his own hand) “oh”
My husband asked if drinking hot drinks was gay.
If that’s gay then I don’t want to be straight
He sounds like a homophobe tbh. No offense to you. :(
Not homophobe, just stuck in some of the language and cultural habits used around him growing up. Trying to be better one day at a time :)
Makes me glad to be a lesbian
From this day forward, if a Lesbian comes to your house, you must always offer her a hot drink.
Ohhhhhh I have a couple!
My father is a good man but he was still raised in a mildly sexist and homophobic Italy. Therefore when he watches TV and men are doing something that is not traditionally masculine, he loses his shit.
For example:
I didn’t witness it in person but a friend of mine told me about a guy who cut off his eyelashes after a woman complemented them
Guess he didn’t want them to look ‘feminine’ or something
Not sure if this counts but…it’s gotta be something lol. I was at a concert a few months ago, crowd was super violent so I stayed at the edges of the pit. I mean people had mouthguards in and were physically fighting. At that point just take it outside. It’s a concert, not a fucking wrestling match. Killed my whole vibe. But I digress. Even in these rough crowds, if someone stumbles or falls, there are hands on you instantly to pick you back up. So the last song is ending and this one guy was running around pushing everyone. Another guy comes up and pushes him back. This is textbook mosh pitting. Guy 1 falls and Guy 2 immediately extends his hands with a smile and a “you good?” to help Guy 1 up. Well Guy 1 goes feral. “Why the fuck did you push me down? Huh? Fucker!” Gets up screaming and starts going after Guy 2s neck. Luckily people intervened and got Guy 2 away and the whole crowd did a collective WTF at Guy 1. Just so weird. Most people accept that they’re gonna get pushed if they’re in the pit pushing others. But I guess some guys think they’re untouchable.
people had mouthguards in and were physically fighting
Sis I don’t think that was a concert
Edit: I need you to make an edit and tell me this was the eras tour
No haha. This was a death/grind metal show. I fully blame one of the opener bands for getting the crowd riled up with some really stupid/dangerous activities (pissed me off so much I booed them multiple times and left during their set).
I’ve seen the headliner twice, and I’ve been going to metal shows and been in the pits for a decade now and this was the only time I’ve seen a crowd so insane. There were two people with mouthguards, one of whom was a girl barely 5 feet tall—she was on something. This all sounds so awful lmao but majority of my experiences as a young female in this male-dominated scene have been very positive.
I was on a train back home from a football match on Saturday, and as usual there were a bunch of Leeds fans on the train (on the same line as where I lived at the time). I usually ended up chatting and having a laugh on trains with other football fans, both male and female, no issues at all.
This one Leeds fan comes up to me, a bottle of white wine in his hand with a long straw in it, and apologised profusely that he’s not interested in me that way and he’s not trying to chat me up, but what did I think to X player who my team had recently bought. He then went on to say “I’m not trying to chat you up” at least twice more.
The guy was young enough to be my son and I look like a goth lunatic. I think it’s pretty obvious no-one is ever trying to chat me up when we talk on trains to and from games, sir.
What the hell happened to this guy in the past that he felt he had to constantly tell me I wasn’t attractive to him, just to talk about the football? The white wine bottle and straw just topped it all off, because the only other time I’ve seen people drinking from wine bottles with straws were hen parties, yet here’s Mr Masculine in his best Ben Sherman gear and football shirt, telling me he only likes blondes but our goalie is fucking great.
Men are so weird. Seriously, I’ve had so many fun and interesting conversations on trains to and from the football, and never anything like that uncomfortable ‘mustn’t talk to women unless I want to screw them’ kind of thing. I felt kind of sorry for him. Strange bloke.
Another story: my dad was once walking in a parking lot right in the middle of the road. A car came up behind him and he grudgingly went to the side to let it past. It clipped his arm with the wing mirror as it went past - we're talking a few km an hour here, nothing crazy that did any actual damage. A bruise at most. He began running after the car. It of course sped off and left him way behind.
My siblings and I were so embarrassed.
I would’ve reacted like your dad lol. I would’ve been enraged to get hit by a car, even just a little bit.
one time this guy I was dating put Youth by Foxes on his TV and informed me that liking the song didn't mean he was gay
LOL! My dad always said said the same thing about how liking the song "Copa Cabana" by Barry Manilow didn't make him gay. Oddly enough this was long before the artist publicly came out as gay -- maybe a lot of people already suspected it?
TIL Barry Manilow is gay! I can safely say that I had never even stopped to think about this either way.
Why does he write better love songs than straight male artists 😭😭😭
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A male at my school grabbed a girls hair because he was so angry that she liked Batman better than Superman
Refusing to neuter their male dog because they're projecting on them. It counts as mental illness, as far as I'm concened.
WOW that's bad. Omfg this just triggered a memory though. A while ago I remember a woman that was talking about how her boyfriend at the time took it personally that her male cat didn't seem to like him (the cat would always stare menacingly and make that defensive posture with his back arched, would hiss if he tried to pet him, was always trying to wedge himself between the two of them when they were in bed or knock things over and/or start yowling to interrupt intimate moments between the couple. Keep in mind this cat was an absolute mellow sweetheart to her and she was genuinely surprised by this behavior). Anyway, he started taking it so personal that he'd look the cat in the eyes and say things like "what are you gonna do about it? You don't even have any balls!" "At least I still have my balls!" etc like. He was threatened by a cat.
Anyway, this is part of why I'm convinced animals have an innate vibe check and can tell right away if someone is a nasty person or a threat to their owner. And yes, the boyfriend did turn out to be horrible in other ways. Cat was right.
It's a huge red flag when men feel competitive with animals, or like they have to "dominate" them.
It's a huge red flag when your animal doesn't like a man in your life.
This is how I knew mine was a keeper. First time he visited my home, I warned him I had two cats (had... because it is now 4), and he would never see them because they are shy about strangers. He had both in his lap 5 minutes later. The animals KNOW.
Awwww! (I love it when I visit someone and their cats just come sit on me.)
Agreed. When I have a potential new friend and they come to my house, and my cat hides instead of greeting them, I know something is off.
I’m a bi cat/ dog person, but I’ve found that too many dogs will be friendly to people that turn out to be the wrong people for me. If the dog doesn’t like them, they done messed up somewhere serious in life. Always trust the cat.
I think it's because to befriend a cat you need to respect its boundaries. I'm a dog person (thus the name) but I understand that cats generally like it when you leave them alone and let them come to you. But a lot of people hate cats for that, and to me hating cats is a huge red flag
That's a great point and I never thought of it that way, but it makes a lot of sense!
Dogs will be best friends with someone they met five seconds ago. Cats need some time to warm up and get used to a person. People who hate cats will say that they're "mean", but I don't think I've ever met a cat that was genuinely mean. Just cats that are a bit guarded and distrustful of unfamiliar humans.
Just like how men think women are "mean" when they aren't immediately friendly or showing interest...
omg. what did he think the cat would do if it DID still have it’s balls? lmao
piss in the bed
piss on the floor
profit or piss your choice here
Cats are good character judges
Wtf
I was a veterinary assistant for ten years. How well I remember the old man who brought in his two new German Shepherd puppies for an exam and vaccine. As always, the vet discussed future care--other vaccines that would be needed, second dewormings, neutering.
I have never heard a man scream so loud. "NO! I'm not going to do THAT to them!"
Nobody expects you to bite the testicles off yourself, Sir.
I think the only reason this didn't happen every day is that men who won't spay or neuter their pets won't take them to the vet regularly either.
And being terrified of vasectomies and urging women to have hysterectomies instead which is a far more invasive, major, risky, and consequential operation. A vasectomy is like five minutes with almost no risk.
They’ve started a stupid push that vasectomies cause cancer. The research I saw was flimsy at best, but it’s still less invasive than hysterectomies, which can also trigger cancer.
Tbh, I’d take their chances over mine. Everything medical is geared towards males (if you don’t believe me, look into why PREP is only approved for males), so it’s better if the male gets the snip, on average all else being equal.
They're happy for their wife to tear herself apart multiple times to give birth but a tiny snip is too much to ask from a male. His genitals are precious and important
Absolutely. Don’t get me started on the “husband stitch” after a woman gives birth. Forget this misogynistic earth. I wish I could launch myself into space like all of the memes.
But here we are, and to the disappointment of our foremothers, every new day is a new affront to those who fought to have us viewed as full human beings.
Imagine liking BALLS that much. Forget the dog. Even if I had balls I’d hate them. They are BALLS. god
Edit: just realized this is one of many examples of how men have more empathy for dogs than women
Men are obsessed with balls and it makes no sense to me. It's the most obvious weak point ever.
And they're so ugly like elephant skin
They absolutely do. My friend's father was a monster to her, her sister, and her mother. But he was obsessed with his dogs, treated them extremely well.
My boy dogs in the past 15 years have their parts, at recommendation of the vets actually. But as a responsible owner, they never contributed to puppies (and if my current boy does, it will be deliberate and planned - I raise working line herding dogs). My dogs have jobs (farm), plus I also have one that is starting training for competitive agility. For working dogs, a lot of vets are now recommending waiting until at least 2 years, if you do choose to neuter (I had a former woman military veterinarian flat out tell me, "Don't you dare neuter this one if you want him to have a healthy life"... Just lost him after 15 years perfect health until his last week). I am NOT against neutering as a general practice for companion animals.
This one for sure. I've met dudes who even go into detail about how they want their dog to get laid because "he's a dude like me, hurr hurr". Bro why are you pimping out your dog for your own pleasure? That's fucking strange.
Oh man. I hate this. It’s a dog. He’ll be healthier neutered and he’ll barely feel it. Mental illness for sure. I can’t imagine being emotionally connected to an animal’s genitals.
This reminds me of my uncle who only gets giant dogs and admits he’s ashamed of liking his girlfriend’s elderly girl pug. He got this big ass dog (he was real proud of himself because he’s white and this is a dog breed typically owned by black people, which 🤨) and didn’t neuter him because it’s “cruel”. He also routinely fed the dog fast food burgers. Then the dog died of severe stomach issues after my uncle had him for less than two years. This is the fourth or fifth dog he’s done this to. You can’t keep an animal hopped up on hormones, taunt him with a female dog, and feed him fucking trans fats and expect him to live a long and happy life. I no longer speak to my uncle. RIP dogs, you deserved better.
In all fairness, most working dogs are not neutered, because it can impact health and development if they are actually working jobs. I have had perfectly healthy unfixed dogs (working lines herding dogs) for 20 years, with zero unwanted puppies, and zero behavior problems. They are actually farm better behaved than my family members' neutered companion dogs, because many people think neutering will magically fix all male dogs' issues in lieu of training. You can be a responsible dog owner and have animals with their parts, and their brains. I agree that the basic companion dog should be fixed, however.
Do you only have male dogs on your farm then? Or do you have both-sexed dogs, but spay the females? And what happens if your intact dogs get loose? I think even well trained/behaved dogs sometimes like to run about if an opportunity arises (e.g. a loose fence plank), and they could then impregnate a female.
I have female dogs also. The 100% free-range livestock guard dog (female) is spayed, the working border girl is not. I work her separate from the boys when she is in heat, until she is well out of the range of time she can get pregnant. When she is not in heat, she and the boys interact normally. If she is out while potentially able to get pregnant, she is under constant supervision. Also, I don't just let my boys run either. They are under direct supervision while I am working, and/or in the house. I have a small farm, and have raised working border collies for 20 years (ABCA, which is the working registry). In the rural area where I live where people raise livestock, unknown dogs on someone's property tend to get shot -- completely legal here, and the hard reality. The exception being someone's trained hunting dogs during bear season, but since I never let my girl out unsupervised when potentially in heat, that isn't a problem. Seriously, making sure intact working dogs don't end up producing unplanned puppies is completely possible, but requires intense attentiveness and responsibility, and it is one I take seriously... And most working dog breeders manage this. The only puppies on my farm are new babies I brought in to raise up (raising little hellion boy now), or the rare registered litter from my own working dogs. The worst thing that my boys have done if a girl is in heat is guiltily stealing and humping a stable blanket. At all times, my dogs are either working with me outside, doing a job in a secured area with livestock, or spoiled rotten inside the house.
Thank you for the detailed response! Just a couple more questions:
Running a small farm has recently been something I've been interested in, although I don't think I'll follow through with anything related to it. But it sounds like an interesting life, and I'm happy that your doggies get such good care!
I do periodically breed my dogs now, but I can attribute a former military veterinarian (he retired into private practice) for not neutering my first boy. He asked my goals for him, and when I explained combo working farm dog and local/regional agility, and then I asked him when we could schedule him for neutering. He explained to me that unless I want to deal with potential major issues down the road, don't I DARE neuter him before 3 years of age. Much for the same reasons that trans kids shouldn't be on hormone blockers. I ended up with the most healthy well-behaved dog I have ever had, and realized through connections with others with working dogs that you really don't want to spay or neuter anywhere in early to even midlife. My girls but I'll get spayed when they are a little older and I know I will not want another litter from them (I do not frequently breed them, I focus on quality not quantity, and I value my dogs as cherished individuals not a means to make money). I have never had a health problem with an intact dog, even into old age. When I have lost them to old age, they have been active up until their last day (but I can tell in the last 7-10 days their time is coming).
With my breed, they only come into heat every 6 months and it is about a month I have to have eyes like a hawk, to be absolutely sure of no accidents. So 10 months out of the year, she is not at risk, and that time is manageable. This is also one of the reasons you don't see as many female dogs in competitions... If a female goes into heat when you would have taken her to a trial or competition, they have to stay home. Male dogs' working careers aren't impacted like theirs are. Honestly, it really is manageable and completely doable for a responsible owner whose dogs would be at bigger risk from being neutered and not having the adequate growth hormones to do their jobs safely.
I do love my amazing dogs! When not working, we enjoy laying on one of the hills in the pasture, watching the mountain sunsets together! :)
Thank you! You and your doggy family sound wonderful!
Or get Neuticles for the poor animal.
That's both the most hilarious and the saddest thing I've ever heard about. What a clown world we live in.
J F C!
Men identify so much with animals. And they get sexually jealous of other male animals. 'Oh you ride horses? Red flag. Oh your horse is a mare? That's not so bad' I've only ever heard of men having sex with horses (and subsequently dying)
That’s surprisingly common (same goes for many other common household pets). Men are truly pathetic.
Yes; I've often noticed this.