What also frustrates me is the reverse: the notion that the life of someone with children can't be full of fun and freedom or "travel, friends and so much love".

The idea that you have kids and then Your. Life. Is. Over. Forever. is no more accurate than the notion that someone without children has a 100% responsibility-free, happy and free existence.

There are so many other factors that dictate our lifestyles and our choices, and our ability to make those choices. Finances, health, extended family, pets and their health, location.

So the attitude of this surgeon's colleagues piss me off doubly: first for judging her, and secondly for disparaging parenthood.

I think she made a big deal over a very small observation. People who don't have kids do enjoy much more freedom to spend their free time and disposable income to please themselves. Her colleagues were not laughing at her; still less were they laughing at her reproductive choices, and honestly it's weird and almost narcissistic that she thought they were. They were laughing at this basic truth: child free people are able to fly to Las Vegas for the weekend, which is just a way of saying that child-free people have the enviable ability to live their lives to suit themselves. Her child-burdened colleagues are well aware that having children has cost them that freedom.

If she were truly happy with her choices she wouldn't be so sensitive about them.

. Did he mean that because I didn’t have children, I didn’t have any responsibilities at all, so of course I could run off to party in Vegas?

Well… yes. Because kids are a huge time suck. A happy one for most people but it does mean not having time to do things like going to Vegas. They weren’t laughing at her they were laughing at themselves for being overbooked

I have to wonder if these jealous-sounding people even knew her childless status was a choice. If they didn't, it was inexcusable given how hurtful it could be to someone who couldn't have kids and wanted them.

If they did, it still seemed very dismissive but coming from a place of resentment. Yes some people don't have kids and get to spend the weekend in Vegas. Cry harder. And some people have kids and STILL get to spend the weekend in Vegas because they can hand the kids off to grandparents, siblings, paid staff for a couple of days. What's their point?

I have to say, the conversation as related seems a bit wonky. A group of people say their weekend plans are mostly doing stuff at home with the kids. She says she going to Vegas. What should the response be? "oh, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Are you a gambler? Finding a nearby brothel? Going to see a show?" What should the response be? If she had said she was going to a location with no particular reputation, people might have asked, oh, do you have friends or family there? I also have an issue with how there doesn't seem to be a word for people who don't have children that doesn't imply loss or burden. Childless sounds like children were wanted but couldn't happen, and child free sounds like having children is like drowning in debt, or no longer have cancer.

Oh well, a childfree surgeons sounds good, at least she won't secretly let her teenage daughter operate on patients. 😆 (There was a scandal recently, with a child-having surgeon doing just that. I mean, perhaps it was bring your daughter to work day, and perhaps the child didn't even do any damage, but it is obviously still illegal, considering the kid certainly had no medical degree.)