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QuestionDo you ever notice female triggers are always topvoted on forums that have nothing to do with them?
I'm genuinely wondering if this is just a "me" thing, but sometimes I'll go on forums on places like r/askreddit. It'll have an innocent question, yet some of the most top voted answers bring up a specific fear to women that seem to pop up out of no where?
Like...
Question: "hey r/askreddit, do you like bunnies?"
Some top answer: "yes. When I was a little girl my uncle raped me and I got a bunny after and it helped me heal."
Or just today it was
Question: "hey r/askreddit, how can you tell if someone is an only child?"
Some top answer: "my mom had a TON of miscarriages so I never had siblings and would treat my friends like my siblings."
I understand these horrible things happen, but it seems like, especially on reddit, they are the most popular upvoted comments on discussions that you wouldn't expect them on. Sometimes I just want to read stories and not be reminded of my fears. But I also could be noticing these because they're my triggers. Yet I have other triggers, like just physical abuse, and don't seem to see those pop up nearly as much (at least as the most upvoted ones).
Is it because so many other people can relate? Do I have a bias in seeing it? Or is it just redditors getting off on women and girl's pain because it doesn't affect the mostly male audience?
I might not be articulating this right. I hope you get my point. I've noticed it for awhile.
I was just complaining to my friend about this in regards to the pregnancy forum on reddit. I had to stop going on there because it was causing major stress and anxiety. One in particular that got me before I quit going on there was something along the lines of:
Q: What's the best pregnancy pillow?
Top A: [Brand] pillow was great after I gave birth and I had 4th degree tearing where my clit was ripped in half
Not verbatim but very close. I just had to stop going on there because I wasn't seeking out stories like this, it would be a pretty innocent topic like pregnancy pillows with horrific answers that are just causing stress and fear.
Yes! I've experienced the SAME thing. Online was horrible and the worst stories were the most upvoted ones. Then IRL, so many mom's I would meet who saw me pregnant would want to share her birth horror story. Even if they didn't have one, they'd share someone else's! The fear mongering is just ridiculous and I don't know why so many are attracted to advertising it to pregnant women. It sure doesn't help me feel prepared, it just stresses me out!
Congrats on your pregnancy! (if you are that is, lol). If it helps, I had a wonderful birth. No tearing, etc. I'm pregnant with number two now and am noticing the same things I did with the first pregnancy and people's comments. It really sucks.
I am, thank you! Due in July, first baby. Congrats to you too! I hope your second birth is as great as your first.
A part of me thought I needed to read all of these horror stories to be more prepared, but now I agree, it does nothing but stress me out. Whatever happens is going to happen, and there's nothing stories like that are going to teach me. Only positive vibes from here on.
That's when I'm due too - congrats! Yes, you're being smart about it. You're not alone and if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. Nothing but positivity for you and the beautiful baby you'll be holding this summer. :)
A lot of Reddit is bots and I often feel like they plant these trauma baits, and the other bots upvote them. But honestly, who knows at this point with that place.
Stop going on Reddit
Ha, yeah. I know. I don't even have an account and thought if I just read some stories on askreddit once in awhile it'll be fine, but it's all the same. I just don't know where to go for subjects that aren't political.
I feel you. I avoid that site unless I'm asking a specific question about a specific topic that is not related to anything "woman" lol. If I want to mindlessly scroll I usually do YouTube which is at least a bit more tailored to my tastes than say instagram (and certainly reddit).
Or is it just redditors getting off on women and girl's pain
This has always, always been the nature of xx. Trauma post after trauma post full of comments saying "as a man" highly upvoted to the top of the sub. It makes sense there's spillover elsewhere on Reddit.
Reddits algorithm either serves up unfunny bro memes or trauma basically and the quality of the comments falls lower with each passing year. I left after getting banned and am happier for it!
I don't know, I think it's mostly that audiences respond to sob stories. I see what you see, but I also see a lot of male "woe is me" stuff like "my wife left me" or "I'm raising my four kids as a solo dad" get upvoted, too, whether they are true or not.