The thing I hate is how porn (which is made for men even if it says ‘we’re porn for women’ or some shit) has infiltrated female writing about sex eg romance novels so that the sex scenes are more and more pornified and read as what men want, not what women would truly want if porn never existed and hadn’t sort of subtly made some women think they like a certain sex act because it pleases men.

It's a tragedy. It took me many years to figure out what was me, and what was a performance for others. It's unfair for women to have to absorb all these harmful things and then be forced to sort out the pieces.

I also resent the idea that female sexuality is boring, overly complex, or replaceable with male.

I work in a profession that is almost entirely female. Every week, I have to suffer through my coworkers trying to one-up each other on who read the darker romance novel. They're written by women, but filled with sexual violence. It grosses me out, and makes me worried for the teen girls consuming this stuff.

Go back to the 70s, my friend:

Shere Hite: https://www.hiteresearchfoundation.org/ Her notable works include

Sexual Honesty, by Women, For Women (1974) The Hite Report on Female Sexuality (1976, 2004) The Hite Report on Male Sexuality (1981) Women and Love: A Cultural Revolution in Progress (The Hite Report on Love, Passion, and Emotional Violence) (1987) Fliegen mit Jupiter (English: Flying with Jupiter) (1993) The Hite Report on the Family: Growing Up Under Patriarchy (1994) The Hite Report on Shere Hite: Voice of a Daughter in Exile (2000) (autobiography) The Shere Hite Reader: New and Selected Writings on Sex, Globalization and Private Life (2006)

The original Our Bodies, Ourselves

the Radical Feminists, like Anne Koedt: https://disruptnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/TheMythoftheVaginalOrgasm.pdf

Yes, I've waited and hoped my whole life to find a male partner who was capable of sexually exploring the places I've been alone.

I don't think my sexuality is all that far out. The clitorus figures more prominently for sure. And more consciousness, being aware together of the energy we're making. More sensuality, being able to build energy for a longer time. Not that weird?

No one yet.

I think the male human animal is capable of it, but they ruin themselves upon the altar of dominance.

I don’t mean to change the subject but I feel the same with women’s health. I am both shocked and not at all surprised that women’s health still isn’t studied properly or fully, especially for life-threatening illnesses, while men get funding and studies for ridiculous, nonessential issues, usually self-induced like their bent penises from too much porn.

Likewise, because cats are seen as feminine versus dogs as “man’s best friend”, cats also don’t get studied enough for veterinary treatments and cures.

Euphemisms for short end of the stick that aren't about being on the receiving end of penetration... go...

anyone?

Ways we talk about the woman having agency in intimacy and the man being the receiver or passive person (object?) in the sentence...

I can't remember (but am sure it's dworkin) who said it, but what if we reframed how we think of sex itself to put the woman as the active agent? What if instead of saying getting fucked or fucking we said enveloping or being enveloped?

I love that idea.

The extremely rare times the genuinely female gaze shines through it's amazing. There's a passage in a Mary Renault book for instance that really stuck with me, and a Jeanette Winterson book... no shit it's lesbians who write the most ably about female sexuality.

I dont have anyting to add except my agreement. Human sexuality should begin and end with women's needs. Men should be an after thought.

Fandom is about the only place that centers womens pleasure, and even that still focuses on male characters.

yeah, and i think it's somewhat impossible. We are hammered with male-perspectives in media and literature since we are little.