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DiscussionTRA = MRA
When I was growing up, I was very much a tomboy and liked typical boys stuff. Around 12 years old when my boobs came in, I realized being a girl sucked in our society. I wished I was a boy, not because I actually wanted to be a boy but because I was now sexualized pretty much everywhere I went, even groped by strange men starting at 10. Boys had so much more agency and their bodies weren't constantly sexualized. They had support to do what they dreamed of and were encouraged to try new things.
Had I grown up under TRA ideology, they would've pushed me to be trans. When all I needed was support and acceptance to be a girl in our society which is what feminism gave me. Now TRA are trying to demonize feminism and retool it to focus on biological males. I really believe TRA are "woke" MRA.
I know working with an occupational therapist helped my issues. You've lived with this for so long, you probably already have a fair number of coping strategies. About 10 % of people have Adhd. I don't really believe we should medicate normal behavior. There is a documentary called "medicating normal" about these issues.
I think I have it and my understanding is that medication for this is just legal speed. I know that I tried some Adderall once and it was similar to how I felt after a fair amount of caffeine or taking an ephedrine pill. So I believe it.
It does help me focus, as all of those other things do. But I think uppers in general help you focus. That doesn't mean it's good to be hyped up all the time.
To me, this is my normal. Getting older, I sometimes wish I'd be able to feel less driven. When I take a walk, it tends to turn into a march. Most other people seem to be able to enjoy down time, I think I would like to be able to do so too.
Do you have a lot of things on your mind that you are worried about and want to get back to?
Not necessarily. I just seem to be incapable of not thinking. Example : Would squirrels fare better riding a bi- or a unicycle? Clearly, there is absolutely no need to think this through, but as soon as it pops into my head, I can't get rid of it.
Adhs is another name for Adhd, correct?
Yes, sorry
I suspect I have it as well. Couldn't schedule an appointment last year because of Covid. I just started with an ADHD life coach so hopefully, that will go well.
How does ADHS affect your personality?
I like some traits I have that are possibly autistic (such as not caring shit for what other people think, immunity to peer pressure, being honest to a fault), but with ADHS, I don't know how it affects the personality as such?
My experience from taking an antidepressant was that, yes, it did change my personality, but not in a bad way. (Well, not too bad. I became more risk-taking, which manifested in going climbing which I would have been too scared to do beforehand, but had always thought was cool. I still knew, rationally, that I would usually be afraid of doing those things, so could have stopped taking the medication had I disliked the new me. I also became less worried about my health, which was perhaps not so good, because the antidepressant did NOT help with my lack of energy, which was a bad combination - fear had sometimes caused me to do necessary things despite the lack of energy. But all in all, it wasn't a scary experience.)
My understanding of ADHS is that it causes a lack of self-control, even though in women it often just manifests as not being able to focus on a task, without the hyperactivity part. If so, I see no downside in taking medication (well, other than the unwanted side-effects). It should in theory just enable you to become the person you always wanted to be, right? Also, I do think you'd still notice that it changes you, and be able to stop taking the meds if you don't like how they change you. At least that was my experience with an antidepressant.
Thanks. I don't actually know how it affects my personality, because this, to me, is the only personality I have.
I have been very accident prone my whole life. I can hyper focus on stuff but seem to have no control on what. I tend to blurtthings out, sometimes I'm afraid tend to drag people down. My work places have all gotten less "stuffy", which is, I guess, not necessarily bad, but somewhat weird, I do things excessively, once again, without any real system to it, I'm chaotic, yet super good at managing chaos, I fail at ridiculous things, have a great memory, yet can't seem to listen at will.. My mother and sister manage certain aspects of my life, mostly by explaining things between the lines. I get ridiculously competitive over stupid things, I'm completely oblivious to certain things. I'm faceblind.
My drug of choice has always been work and currently, my family is getting angry because they think it's getting bad again. They are pushing for me to do something. I have been on an antidepressant in the past, it was really good for me, but I don't feel I'm depressed now.
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Thanks for this! I'm German, it's adhs here.
A definite perk is that I know how to entertain myself and others and are great at coming up with solutions. A downside is, that I don't know how to do moderation. I'm great at coming up with solutions because I come up with A LOT. My head feels like a beehive. Also, to be brutally honest, I have underachieved a lot in my life. For example : I love statistics. Like a lot. I would really like to do a data sciences class. But I fear the "boring" parts, because I know I'll tank them. Not because of a lack of discipline - I cannot seem to get over myself when it comes to things like this. I fell in love with navision, but learning it systematically scares me.
I have and never had any sort of substance abuse issues (besides nicotine) or eating disorders. I also have very stable relationships.
ADHD is a complicated topic, personally, and culturally. There has been a rise in people identifying as having ADHD in the past 10 years. And with that, the acquiescence of professionals to provide a diagnosis. ADHD symptoms have a thick overlay with PTSD and cPTSD symptoms. This can especially play out in intergenerational trauma cycles. Medication is going to make you not you. That’s the point of it. It won’t solve the problem, despite peoples insistence that drugs solve problems, I’m afraid that’s just a pharmaceutical sales pitch. You will continue to have symptoms, and add another to the list: fear that if you don’t take their expensive drugs, you’ll be even worse. It’s a sorry state, that I cannot recommend. Whether you diagnose or don’t diagnose, how you live your life, and have the symptoms present are the same, no? So you still have to deal with them regardless. And emotional and behavioral reckoning and changes are going to be far more effective than drugging yourself.
I highly recommend reading Gabor Mate’s Scattered Minds, and seeking the help of a female therapist with whom you have a good bond; taking your time to find a good fit before issuing trust.