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Thousands of people shared their Peak Trans stories on r/GenderCritical before trans activists managed to pressure Reddit into censoring us. If you shared there before, please share again.


Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be tolerant and kind, until we really listened to what they were saying and compared it to our own knowledge and experience.

  • Can "woman" be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Can men give birth? Do trans women really have periods?

  • Is it fair for males to compete with girls and women in women's sports?

  • Should people be forced to "accept" that trans women are women, and be compelled to say so? Should people really be censored for disagreeing, or saying anything contrary about it?

  • Should women be called "cis women" even when they don't identify with sexist gender roles, just because they aren't trans? Doesn't the claim that gender is some kind of natural, inborn psychological phenomenon contradict decades of feminists saying gender is a limiting social construct that is forced on us by society?

  • Should girls who don't like dolls or dresses be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones? Should we be cavalier about prescribing puberty blockers to children when they can cause life-long health problems?

  • Should women be shamed as trans-exclusionary for talking about our reproductive health and anatomy? Are "pussy hats" transphobic?

  • Is it acceptable for lesbians to be bullied for not wanting to have relationships with trans women? Doesn't the struggle against the "cotton ceiling" contradict everything we've been saying about enthusiastic consent and rape culture?

  • Should women be denied the option of not seeing a penis in a women's shower room? Is it really transphobia that makes women alarmed at seeing males in women-only spaces? Is it actually transphobic for women to not want trans women in women-only rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, or prisons?

  • Should women never be allowed to exclude males from any women's spaces, groups, or events? Are people who disagree with what trans activists say really all "trans exclusionary radical feminists" or "TERFs," even when they aren't feminists or trans-exclusionary?

What is peak trans?

Many of us called this “peak trans”—that moment when you realize “trans rights” are not really about supporting a marginalized population, but about undermining the rights of girls and women and bullying people into accepting transgender ideology. –Thistle Peterson: How I Became the Most Hated Folk Singer in Madison

Are you ready to reach peak trans? Or you just want to know what those "TERFs" you've heard about are saying so you can debunk them? Read on... and get ready to add your own story!



NOTE: Please reserve this space for peak trans stories only! Brief messages of welcome are fine, but if something here inspires you to more discussion, please make a new post.

Thousands of people shared their Peak Trans stories on r/GenderCritical before trans activists managed to pressure Reddit into censoring us. If you shared there before, please share again. ----- **Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be tolerant and kind, until we really listened to what they were saying and compared it to our own knowledge and experience.** - Can "woman" be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Can men give birth? Do trans women really have periods? - Is it fair for males to compete with girls and women in women's sports? - Should people be forced to "accept" that trans women are women, and be compelled to say so? Should people really be censored for disagreeing, or saying anything contrary about it? - Should women be called "cis women" even when they don't identify with sexist gender roles, just because they aren't trans? Doesn't the claim that gender is some kind of natural, inborn psychological phenomenon contradict decades of feminists saying gender is a limiting social construct that is forced on us by society? - Should girls who don't like dolls or dresses be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones? Should we be cavalier about prescribing puberty blockers to children when they can cause life-long health problems? - Should women be shamed as trans-exclusionary for talking about our reproductive health and anatomy? Are "pussy hats" transphobic? - Is it acceptable for lesbians to be bullied for not wanting to have relationships with trans women? Doesn't the struggle against the "cotton ceiling" contradict everything we've been saying about enthusiastic consent and rape culture? - Should women be denied the option of not seeing a penis in a women's shower room? Is it really transphobia that makes women alarmed at seeing males in women-only spaces? Is it actually transphobic for women to not want trans women in women-only rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, or prisons? - Should women never be allowed to exclude males from any women's spaces, groups, or events? Are people who disagree with what trans activists say really all "trans exclusionary radical feminists" or "TERFs," even when they aren't feminists or trans-exclusionary? ##What is peak trans? > Many of us called this “peak trans”—that moment when you realize “trans rights” are not really about supporting a marginalized population, but about undermining the rights of girls and women and bullying people into accepting transgender ideology. [–Thistle Peterson: How I Became the Most Hated Folk Singer in Madison](https://archive.is/o/XVLl1/https://uncommongroundmedia.com/thistle-pettersen-how-i-became-the-most-hated-folk-singer-in-madison/) Are you ready to reach peak trans? Or you just want to know what those "TERFs" you've heard about are saying so you can debunk them? Read on... and get ready to add your own story! ----- * [Peak Trans Reprise I](https://www.ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/121/peak-trans-reprise-tell-your-story-here) * [Peak Trans Reprise II](https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/5253/peak-trans-reprise-ii-tell-your-story-here) * [Peak Trans Reprise III](https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/13499/peak-trans-reprise-iii-tell-your-story-here) ----- NOTE: Please reserve this space for peak trans stories only! Brief messages of welcome are fine, but if something here inspires you to more discussion, please make a new post.

91 comments

[–] elleelle 37 points (+37|-0)

Hi, my name is ellie and I'm a TERF. I peaked this week after a long, slow burn that included many smaller peaks. This is super long, for that I apologize.

I'm not a dogmatic radical feminist. I'm not dogmatic period, I'm just not much of a joiner. The bread and butter philosophies behind radfem views regarding kink, sex work, and porn differ significantly from mine, though there's a lot of overlap. But I always felt that I was closer to being a radical rather than a liberal feminist, which, let's be honest, liberal feminism is pretty fucking milquetoast. Taylor Swift and Sarah Palin can fuck off with their skim milk feminism.

I absolutely believe in equal civil rights for all people, period. I think that bodily autonomy is sacred, and that's why I'm a 9 month absolutist on the subject of abortion, and why I wouldn't circumcise my son.

I'm a bisexual, progressive, agnostic socialist feminist. And I actually know real life trans people, and more than a few, at that.

I grew up in an abusive family. My father was diagnosed as bipolar and it's my belief that he has a concurrent Cluster B personality disorder. Besides the garden variety emotional abuse, my father beat the hell out of all of us. My mother enabled him and, despite their divorce, still does. What I used to call revisionist history or selective memory, through therapy as well as my job, I've come to understand as gaslighting and manipulation.

In my early 20s, I read "As Nature Made Him" by John Colapinto, a book I can't recommend enough. It told the story of the Reimer twins. It triggered in me an interest in gender studies and ethics. One of my main takeaways was that intersex people need to be left alone, surgically, until adulthood or unless there is a medical necessity. (Funny aside: I watched an old SVU this week, and spotted right away that it was a fictionalized account of the Reimer twins. The adolescent boy who played the twins was a strikingly beautiful child- long lashed eyes, full lips, pointed chin. As the "girl" twin, he looked like a boy in a wig and dress, and this is before puberty had done all of its work. Always clockable. Always.)

I'm a nurse. I have a 9-5 office job, but I also keep a travel gig on the side. The place where I typically work for my travel gig is a locked inpatient behavioral health unit, or "the psych ward" as everyone likes to call them. I tend to live in my own head a lot, and becoming a nurse was very good for me in that sense, especially my years as a floor nurse. The work of nursing, which is hard on an intellectual, a physical, and an emotional level, as well as being a constant series of problem-solving challenges, grounded me in the reality of the body, and the reality of my body, in a way that nothing else ever has. Becoming a nurse made me a materialist; our brains are a part of our body. Brain cancer, Alzheimer's, Huntington's- these diseases are horrifying not because you die from them - we all die- but because they steal from you, they change who you are because of the physical changes they wreak on your brain.

I'm not religious. I don't believe in anything that's been so very oppressive to women. I remember lying in the bathtub during puberty, and cursing my menstruating body. Periods, pregnancy and childbirth, being smaller and weaker, these were the reasons women were so constrained by society. I remember putting these things together in my head at 11 or 12, and determining there was no innate difference in the intelligence or competence or nature of woman when compared to men- what were different were her opportunities, and those were constrained by society because of her body. So I don't believe in a woman's soul or a man's soul, I never have since I worked that out as a kid. A woman's brain is a woman's because it's in her body, that's the whole truth, the rest is socialization.

I'm old- in my early 40s. I grew up in the rural Midwest. When I was a teenager in the 90s, my friends who were boys wore dresses, grew their hair long, and painted their nails. My friends who were girls shaved their heads, tattooed their arms (this was a huge deal back then, and at least where I grew up, was seen as very masculine) and wore "boy" clothes, sometimes exclusively. We were absolutely playing with gender roles, and it was fun, and often sexy. No one ever used the word trans or even the word "tranny" amongst the people I hung out with. Several of the boys did turn out to be gay, but they were the more gender conforming of our group, ironically. Most of the girls at least flirted with the idea of having sex with women, and several of us actually did it. All of us played with body modification to some degree. A few years ago, when the zoomers were becoming teens, I thought to myself, "My peers were all about making the boundaries around gender flexible, and these kids are all about blowing them up. Cool." That turned out to be wrong, they're enforcing them just as strictly, just under a changed set of boundaries.

When Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn, I remember reading a comment on Jezebel asking, with kind phrasing and in a way that, to me, sounded legitimately curious, "If Caitlyn Jenner can be transgender, why can't Rachel Dolezal be transracial?" The responses were venomous, which surprised me at the time, but even more surprising was how absolutely no one engaged with the question. "That's completely different!" was the common and indignant reply. No one offered why. At the time, I thought maybe I needed to read and learn more. I'm generally pretty openminded and I love to learn. Then I read about the Hypatia controversy and realized that being openminded to interesting questions wasn't welcomed by our new gender policing overlords.

I'm a visual artist and a people watcher. I can spot a wig no matter how good. I have extremely large hands and feet for a woman my size. My best female friend has a deep husky voice. I can always spot trans people in real life. Always. It's not just about hands and voice, or height or Adam's apple. It's everything. Their attempts to control how they are perceived are simply unsuccessful the vast majority of the time. I see men in skirts and women with shaved heads- both of these things are great! I just wish they didn't believe that a change of dress or styling changes what they are.

I discovered Contrapoints when Natalie was still Nic, and had a blistering crush on him. In spite of being bisexual, I was/am not attracted to Natalie at all, and I felt bad about this. I asked myself several times if I was transphobic, and what I came back with was that I just am not attracted to over the top, performative displays of femininity. I'm into a more natural vibe. I absolutely love long hair on men, and I don't mind a bit of makeup on men or women, but I really am not into the full beat of makeup, nails and false eyelashes and heels look AT ALL. And this was when I started wondering about slipping on a female identity as a costume. As RuPaul said, "We're born naked, and the rest is drag." Being a woman is not about clothes and beauty products. No one proves this better than drag queens.

At psych, I started to see more and more trans patients. This is a conundrum: there are no private rooms, so where do we put them? The obvious solution became designating a room for transmasculine females and one for transfeminine males. But they always want to go into the room of their chosen gender, and this is a problem for the other patients, all of whom need and deserve to feel safe, and who do not need to have their own sense of reality called into question.

While I am not interested in the "is transgenderism a mental illness?" question, I cannot help but notice that many trans people have mental illnesses. Mentally ill people of every stripe often self harm, and they often do it with medicine. This made me question how often this was happening under the guise of affirming therapy, particularly as one of the bits of TRA propaganda is "smash medical gatekeeping". As a medical professional, let me tell you: we fucking DESPERATELY need medical gate keeping, not just for trans people- for fucking EVERYBODY.

I also started to wonder, philosophically, about the very particular viewpoint on display on the part of TRAs. That is, treating gender roles with such reverence that a sign of any gender non-conformity is an indication that you ought to invest in mass body modification in an attempt to change how the world sees you.

Then my daughter started to get deeper and deeper into the trans cult. I let this ride for about a year and a half, and finally I reached out to some acquaintances to get my head wrapped around this. One is a transwoman who, unfortunately, is simply too mentally ill to have a conversation about, well, anything. The other is a mother of another trans identifying female child of similar age to my kid. We'll call this mom H. We compared notes, and H said, "We are living the same life." We had the same experiences with gaslighting and manipulation, and to see those tactics coming from our children rather than abusive parents or partners was disorienting and deeply saddening. My father used to threaten suicide regularly and I am simply D O N E with that type of emotional extortion. Both my daughter and H's daughter have retconned their entire personalities to fit a narrative. Both kids have mostly male friends and act like stereotypical flirtatious girls with their friends, often changing into revealing clothing. It's a behavior that's so sexually broken that I'm sad for them. Both kids attend school districts in a remote, rural area of the Midwest, and both kids' friend groups consist of mostly trans children. I cannot buy that 20% of the children in my daughter's grade are transgender. To say that this is not a trend... like, I am supposed to believe the pop culture narrative around this, or my lying eyes? This all got notably worse during the pandemic, because everyone was online more.

Then, last week, I went to the college town 20 minutes away and saw six TIFs, all late teens-early 20s. Say what you want about these privileged white college girls, they're on trend. I think the style- shaved heads, wild colored hair, combat boots- is just 1990s remixed, but the body mods have taken on epic proportions.

My daughter, thank god, does not want testosterone. H's daughter wanted it for awhile but has outgrown that wish, and was denied T by peds endo whose name I want to get so I can send him flowers and a card.

My daughter does, however, want a b/l mastectomy. The anguish I feel over this is impossible to describe. I have taken care of mastectomy patients and it is a horrifying, grotesque, brutal surgery. People get mastectomies because the alternative is death. The thought of my baby with drains and surgical wounds in her healthy chest is something I can't contemplate without weeping. I will not pay for any of this, I will not care for her in recovery if she does it. It would destroy me. I will not engage in euphemistic speech and call it "top surgery". Medical procedures have medical descriptions. Things have names for a reason. I won't call edema "squishiness", either.

I understand why kids are obsessed with identity- they control almost nothing, and this is something that they can control. It's a normal part of growing up. I remember the body horror that accompanied puberty, I understand that. I remember the relief I felt when my traumas and indignities were given a name. I think the adoption of "trans" by angsty teens feeds into all these things. But the promise that transition will cure these ills is one that I am deeply, profoundly skeptical of.

The only information I found for parents of trans children was hearts and flowers affirming bullshit. I read JK Rowling's essay, after hearing my daughter rant about JKR's transphobia for over a year, and I agreed with every word of it. Eventually that lead me here. Radfems are rad. I'm so happy to have found you all. I need the support.

[–] TooManyLegs 16 points (+16|-0)

I sometimes make myself crazy with the hypothetical "what would I do if I had a kid and they came out as trans?" question. I am so sorry that you're living it. I really, really hope that by the time your daughter is eligible for a mastectomy this phase has passed, and I hope that there are other parents on here that can help guide you through the minefield that this subject has become. I remember when tattoos were the insane, permanent body modification that parents were terrified of their kids getting, and when that was going on, parents were allowed to disapprove and refuse to let their underage children get one. Now telling your kid that they can't make permanent, serious changes to their body is considered abusive and comes with considerable social backlash. How are you supposed to navigate that?

Welcome, and thank you for the beautifully written introduction. Painful subjects aside, I really enjoyed reading your perspective as a medical professional/90s punk/mom. It's great to have you here.

[–] kalkazar13 14 points (+14|-0)

While I am not interested in the "is transgenderism a mental illness?" question, I cannot help but notice that many trans people have mental illnesses.

I noticed this too, and it's what brought me down the path to questioning this entire movement. I think it's at least a side effect of mental illness, be it from a social contagion or some inborn disorder like autism or schizophrenia.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter.

[–] Tabitha_Tuesday 5 points (+5|-0) Edited

"If Caitlyn Jenner can be transgender, why can't Rachel Dolezal be transracial?" The responses were venomous, which surprised me at the time, but even more surprising was how absolutely no one engaged with the question. "That's completely different!"

The funny thing is that both gender and race are social constructs, but sex is not. In that way, "transracial" is more legitimate than someone changing their sex. It's all absolutely ridiculous, but the fact that people think you can change sex more than race makes less sense.

[–] TooManyLegs 33 points (+33|-0)

Hi everyone, I just made my first account in the GC-sphere, and I just want to say that I'm a TERF! I am a Trans-Exculsionary Radical Feminist. My name is [TooManyLegs] and I do not believe in gender ideology.

I work in an industry that would absolutely blacklist me if they ever found out. The career that I've worked so hard to build would dissolve overnight, and I would be shunned. I've called myself a TERF in my head for a long time now, but I've never said it out loud, or written it down, or even whispered it to myself alone in a dark room. It feels so good to write it out now, in total anonymity, amongst like-minded individuals. I'm a TERF!

As for my peaking, it was kind of a slow burn, but two specific incidents stood out and dear god do I want to get them off my chest. The first was learning that a horrible ex-boyfriend of mine was suddenly identifying as a woman and on hrt. My immediate reaction was "good for her!" of course, since I was such a progressive person and a good ally. In conversation with the friend who had told me, I was happy for "her" and hoped that becoming a woman identifying as the woman he had always been would be the healing that he desperately needed as a sick person. It wasn't until I was alone later that I realized how deeply upset I was by it. So many of the abusive aspects of our relationship had centered around misogyny: my emotions were mocked because I was a woman, anything that I was interested in was "shallow", everything we did was what he wanted when he wanted it because he was the man, sex was never optional because it "was my job", he wouldn't interact with me when I was on my period (because periods are gross), he viciously mocked my body, and his constant drama and anger was the sort that only exists in a deeply sexist man. So many of the issues that I had with him were tied specifically to his role as a man...and suddenly I couldn't talk about it? Suddenly I felt the need to censor myself, since using the wrong pronouns or making any sort of reference to him being masculine was worse than anything he had done to me.

I could not, and do not, accept this person as a woman. I knew him as a man who had nothing but distain for women, who only saw them as sex objects, and once he hits 30 he's suddenly he's a ~transgirl~ with an anime profile picture who posts half-naked pics on the internet? I saw a post he made about how hard it is to be a woman, and fuck you dude. Men like you are the ones who are making it hard to be a woman. You'll never know.

That was the first time that I felt like maybe I wasn't as onboard the gender train as I had always thought. I felt like I was going crazy that everyone just mentally switched this person's identity, and his fucked up past was instantly wiped. That wouldn't have happened if he had just changed his name, or religion, or lifestyle, or moved away. What made gender this different, untouchable concept that trumped everything else?

Incident #2 was simpler: I met a TiM in person for the first time. I still considered myself an ally, I had plenty of TiF friends, and I was vocal about trans rights. I was visiting some friends out of state, and their circle of women/TiFs included this TiM. I was obviously totally cool hanging with her, she was just another woman to me, until I actually met her. When she wasn't around, we would have normal conversations about our futures, ideas, politics, personal lives, make stupid jokes, etc. When she was around, she would always immediately interject and start talking about sex. Now, I like raunchy sex talk as much as the next gal, but only with my close friends, and not all the time. Having this strange man in a dress shrieking about sex and using try-hard valley girl slang in a high pitched voice was unbelievably insulting. It was obvious that this TiM's view of women was entirely as brainless sex-dolls, and not as human beings with their own lives and opinions. I hadn't even heard of autogynephilia at the time, but I remember being shocked by how obviously is was a fetish for him.

Not to mention that he had inserted himself into a group of wlws, and the thought of any of them feeling pressured to be intimate with him made me see red.

That made me start paying attention to TiMs, and realizing how many of them were these disgusting, predatory men. I had always thought of transwomen as being attracted to men, doing everything they could to pass, and living their lives post-transition as women, without any fuss. This massive shift towards "not having to pass", "transbians", and forcing strangers to publicly take part in their fetish peaked me hard. Finding GenderCritical on reddit helped me understand that I wasn't alone in this feeling, and the ensuing ban made me realize how deep this fucked-up ideology had rooted itself in the mainstream.

I have less of a problem with TiFs, but the idea that female is a feeling that can be taken away by not being feminine enough is bullshit. I was a tomboy growing up, and I know that if I was a kid/teen in 2021 that someone would have approached me by now, suggesting that maybe I was genderqueer, or a man. And maybe I would have bought into it, when I was young and insecure and just wanted to feel special. It feels like we've taken a massive step backwards by implying that not being feminine means that you aren't a woman at all, that "woman" is just a narrow list of shallow personality traits. Fuck you, I'm a woman no matter what, and asking my pronouns when I cut my hair or dress "like a man" just makes me angry.

Basically, I think that modern gender ideology is just reinforcing harmful stereotypes for both sides, and encouraging vulnerable people to mutilate their bodies.

This turned long and ranty, but it felt great to get it out. Thanks for this website, and thanks for the space to fume without being told how wrong I am. I can tell that I'm going to like it here.

[–] elleelle 16 points (+16|-0)

Basically, I think that modern gender ideology is just reinforcing harmful stereotypes for both sides, and encouraging vulnerable people to mutilate their bodies.

Holy shit, you said in one sentence what's been brewing in my head for years. Thank you

[–] herazade 16 points (+16|-0) Edited

Ooof, rough. Welcome. I know I didn't even known what a TERF was until 3 years ago a TIM friend (now former) started facebooking all giddily this "punch a terf" stuff. I was like wait a minute... They really give the game away with their very male way of talking and living don't they.

ps- Good luck in keeping your job. May you be able to open about yourself one day.

[–] TooManyLegs 9 points (+9|-0)

Thanks for the welcome, it already feels great to be here.

That's honestly heartbreaking, It's wild that he was giddily talking about essentially wanting to punch his friend, even if he didn't realize it. That's just...such a male way of conducting yourself. I'm glad to hear that you aren't friends anymore, but ouch.

[–] teateatea 15 points (+15|-0)

I hadn't even heard of autogynephilia at the time, but I remember being shocked by how obviously is was a fetish for him.

SAME. HERE.

I learned this word on this very website. But that is exactly how I described it. "These men seem to fetishize women so much...that they 'turn themselves into a lesbian' to play it out." Unsettling. I'm so glad to know there's an actual word to describe it.

Your peak story is soooo similar to mine. How crazy it is that once you meet some TIMs in person it's like...holy shit this is all obvious as hell. I was much more supportive of trans rights before I started meeting TIMs lmao.

[–] 21stcenturygal 7 points (+7|-0)

all of the TIMS I’ve met are sooo narcissistic. I can’t see anything but a man when they speak now. It’s like they’re so excited to yell at women who might accidentally say the wrong thing. They’re always misogynists.

[–] Switched 32 points (+32|-0)

Hello, I'm C and I reached my peak about three weeks ago. Came to it from a pretty classic lefty woke pathway - trans people just want to pee! they're so vulnerable! Why are the TERFs bullying them?

My peak came from two events - first, the Aimee Challenor bullshit and realising how he was behind the banning of all the gender critical subreddits. At the same time, Eddie Izzard 'comes out' as a lesbian. That made me say... what? My housemate corrected me for misgendering 'her' and I felt weird about that. Then I saw the interview where he talks about how he wants to be in girl mode for comedy but boy mode for acting and thought - well, I'm sure lots of women would love to put on 'boy mode' for employment opportunities but that's not an option for us... maybe woman isn't a costume you can put on? What the fuck is 'feeling like a woman', anyway?

So from there I started reading and didn't stop. I read JKR's evil terf blog post and agreed with all of it. I looked up the women who were cancelled and thought they were making reasoned, educated, and sensible points. I even looked at Glinner - the ultimate transphobe! - posts and found... things I agreed with. I saw dick-out Decaudin and Liam/Lily Maynard take political positions reserved for women and thought, who the fuck are they to advocate for women? I wouldn't dream of walking into a trans space and shouting over their concerns or think I'm the person who should be advocating.

And then the emperor was naked and it just looked like men, men, men. Men whining women won't touch their dick (ladydique). Men swinging their dicks around and insisting they are entitled to be somewhere and telling women to shut up if they have a problem. Shut up, TERF. Fuck off, TERF. Trans women are women, cis women are 'vulva people', fuck off if you don't like it.

Then the prison stuff - the 'human experiment - horrified me. And people I know care about intersectionality, 'nothing about us without us', think this is all fine? what the fuck? and then the amount of fetishists and peadophiles. and then the women's sports. and then the unscientific medicalisation of kids.

Even with all of this, I don't have anything AGAINST trans people. I want them to have facilities in prison to not be subject to violence - the same way I think any male in prison, even violent offenders, should suffer violence because of being incarcerated. I'm sure a small portion of trans kids really do need transition as a solution to their dysphoria and am supportive of them accessing sensitive and reliable care for that. But there has GOT to be gatekeeping in place for all of this.

[–] [Deleted] 7 points (+7|-0)

lots of women would love to put on 'boy mode' for employment opportunities

hell, i'd take crumbs of just being in boy mode on the sidewalks since childhood...

[–] Python 27 points (+27|-0)

I used to be completely in support of the trans rights movement. Contrapoints was my favorite Youtuber and I would get into full-fledged debates as to why "trans women are women" and attempt to defend everything about the trans rights movement.

For me, peaking happened gradually. There were moments that gave me pause. For example, when I heard of how a trans identified male was able to dismantle the "1 male, 1 female" rule in the NY Democratic Party. But I brushed these instances aside thinking that surely there must be a good explanation for those things-- after all, we don't want to be transphobic, don't we?

I think the moment that really kickstarted the process was the fallout after a particular Contrapoints video where it became completely obvious that even trans people didn't understand what transgenderism was about. Is it about discomfort with the physical body you inhabit? Is it about femininity and masculinity? Is it a "female brain in a male body" or "male brain in a female body"? What's "gender identity" even supposed to refer to, exactly? What is a woman? Or a man? What's the difference between a trans identified male who identifies as a woman, but chooses not to transition, and any other male?

(The best explanation Contrapoints could offer is that gender identification is a feeling of being uncomfortable with male embodiment and preferring female embodiment, vice versa for trans identified females-- though it's unclear how simply being uncomfortable one way and more comfortable the other way makes you that thing you want to be.)

Then I started to notice some troubling trends among trans identified males. The misogynistic comments that would be made, the dismissal of "cis" female experience in favor of the apparently more marginalized perspectives of trans identified males.

I think I fully embraced a gender critical perspective when I began reading r/pinkpillfeminism-- I began to realize just how misogynistic my own views were, and the intensity of my own internalized misogyny that I didn't even notice as such. It prompted a revisitation of many of my views regarding women and feminism.

I came to the conclusion that much of contemporary feminism was a complete and utter sham. There is no gendered definition of womanhood that doesn't rely on circular definition (e.g. a woman is someone who identifies as a woman), bad neuroscience (e.g. the concept of "male brains" and "female brains"), or plain-old sexist gender stereotypes. Replacing sex with "gender identity" as the primary subject of feminist activism and discourse erases the reality of women's oppression. Female infants aren't killed because of their gender identity, they're killed because of their female sex. The patriarchy has only ever used gender as a tool of oppression. Women were oppressed due to their belonging to a particular sex class, not due to some mystical, womanly "gender identity."

Trans people will always accuse you of having misunderstood transgenderism or not having read enough or not having enough conversations with trans people. The problem is that they don't understand themselves, either. I've been told by that the only reason trans people get "gender affirming surgery" (I'm sorry, I thought gender was distinct from sex, and that being a woman was about gender identity, not sex-- so why do trans people need to imitate the sexual characteristics of the opposite sex?) is that society only accepts female-looking people as women and male-looking people as men. Yet go ask trans people if they would still change their sexual characteristics if they were on a deserted island-- the majority would still go for the surgeries and hormones.

Because, to many (if not most or all of) them, being a woman is about being female-- that's what they mean when they say that they have "gender" dysphoria-- they don't like having a male body and want to have a female body. The difference is that the rest of us don't get to say the same, because accepting that being a woman is about being female would automatically negate any claim of a person born male "actually" being a woman.

[–] Livia_Drusila 8 points (+8|-0)

The funny part is that even Contrapoints was "cancelled" by woke enbees for some reason. LOL.

[–] Cats4Science 27 points (+27|-0)

For reference - I work in a public policy institute where we all care deeply about social justice (but I will say in the past two years especially, some of my colleagues have gone more to the extreme). I say this to say that equality and justice are very important to me and I sought this career because of it. The first thing I noticed was that the university I work under changed all the signs to our single stall unisex bathrooms so that they specifically said “gender neutral”. It made me roll my eyes because it was just performative. And my colleagues were so excited - as a policy wonk and researcher, this was such a disconnect because there was no change just the sign was replaced. It’s just an easy way for institutions to look like they are addressing underserved needs without actually doing anything.

Then, JK Rowling tweeted about standing with Maya Forester and the reaction was appalling and also strangely reminiscent of the abuse thrown at women during gamer gate, except now the threats included “lady” dicks. At this same time, thr makeup subreddit I subbed to was getting an uptick in TW, which I didn’t mind. What I did mind was that these posts got thousands of upvotes regardless of whether or not the makeup was actually good. Sometimes the makeup was just awful and not even trying - also, they would be “closeted” TW which always looked to me like cross dressing. Long story short - after seeing so many of these not-even-trying-to-pass posts, it finally hit me: this was a fetish and these dudes were getting off on it and the women had no idea. Hell, they were all celebrating them and shouting down/banned anybody who stated the obvious.

Anyway, that is what lead me to find r/GenderCritical. It took me until today - over a year later - to get to the point that I finally felt confident enough to stop just lurking and engage.

[–] AdultHumanFemale 26 points (+26|-0)

My peak trans moment happened in two stages, first when Rhys McKinnon, aka Rachel McKinnon, aka Veronica Ivy, won the Women’s World Cycling Championships.

I wrote about it—and I’m not anyone prominent or special—and was subjected to a doxxing attempt.

After that, I found Magdalen Berns on YT and learned of the Cotton Ceiling and Riley J. Dennis.

I had just come out as being attracted to women after years of denying it to myself and found there were no wlw circles for me to join that didn’t include TiMs. It was pretty disheartening.

[–] [Deleted] 26 points (+26|-0)

I'm in academia, and have been a member of several groups on Facebook dedicated to women in academia, academic memes, people giving each other academic resources, etc. However, I've left almost all of these groups, because without fail, they have at some point been taken over by TRAs and their need to be the center of attention and to play the victim.

The following screen captures from the same person are a great example. They were all posted in a group called 'Ask for PDFs from people with institutional access.'

The idea behind the group is that if there's a specific book or article you need for research but you can't get, then you can ask the more than 90,000 international group members if they can help you. You're supposed to know what you're asking for, so you need to know the title and author of the book/ article.

Now look what this unhinged person is asking for, and then what happens when people aren't 'helping':

Screen capture 1, Screen capture 2, Screen capture 3, Screen capture 4

People ended up being thrown out of the group for asking how this was relevant, and many were labelled 'transphobic,' 'racist' and 'violent' by TRAs just for thinking this was weird. And again, this is in a group with over 90,000 members, so some of what went down here could potentially have repercussions for people in their lives and careers. And this is all over a person who clearly needs therapy.

Another thing that really bothers me about the 'woke' culture is how unempathetic it is. Look at the language used by this TIM, in a group where the majority of the users are not from Woketown, USA. Many of the members in the group are from the Global South, and when some of them asked what the final post actually meant, they were then told by a number of people to "educate themselves," and again that they were being 'racist.' People from Pakistan and India were labelled racist because they don't understand words like 'purr.' I can't make this shit up...

[–] bibliophile 25 points (+25|-0)

Hi, I'm a new member here, but I've been lurking /r/gendercritical, /r/lgbdropthet, the saidit communities, and now Ovarit for ... maybe a year now. Before, I always supported trans people and didn't have to think much about what that meant. I'm in college, and I started meeting trans friends who all just acted like normal people. Trans women friends actually didn't act very male, although trans man friends definitely acted according to female socialization.

I peaked through /r/gendercritical. I followed a lot of LGBT subreddits to share memes and relate to a close family member who is bi. When people, anywhere on Reddit, mentioned a terrible subreddit (whether it was something super racist or misogynistic, etc), I would always check it out, sort by top of all time, probably downvote a few posts. Of course, I saw people talking about how terrible gc was, and eventually I checked it out and sorted by top of all time and was like ... these sound like regular female concerns to me? The radfem idea of a woman is also just so liberating. I have a female body and that is all I need to be a woman; I can do anything and still be a woman. And then I followed more "anti-trans" subs just to get both sides of the story. I really enjoyed lgbdropthet as well.

So I first discovered /r/gc around this time last year or a bit before and was like "wtf why is this place so demonized?" (especially since tumblrinaction says the same stuff with an extra dose of misogyny and wasn't vilified as much), and then a friend came out and announced it with something like "you ever just wake up and realize you're a girl." I thought, no, you have never acted like anything but a man! That made me think as well, and I would say that reading GC and seeing that person come out peaked me. Many months later, I had a lot of apprehension about meeting this person again to see how they would act. Turns out they constantly talk about being trans and act like "one of the girls" WITHOUT losing their very male, conversation-dominating and expecting-people-to-laugh-at-their-jokes behavior. Like I said, all the trans friends I met earlier didn't ever talk about being trans and were just like "hey pls use these pronouns and treat me like a person, thanks." So if I had not peaked already, this probably would have peaked me. Nothing about this person is like me or my female friends. There is no magical "woman essence"--if there were, I would have seen it in my friend after they started transitioning.

[–] [Deleted] 4 points (+4|-0)

Ooh, I feel like we know the same TIM that made me peak as well, or they’re all just that similar. I knew this person since middle school and I saw how everyone, male or female, treated him with such reverence and thought allll his jokes were funny and that he was so cool. He was never sexualized like the popular girls were, mind you, just admired.

“Came out” as she/they as an adult. Purposely chooses to not pass by keeping certain male characteristics like facial hair, but wears makeup and dresses. Also dating a TIF. Talk about straight with extra steps. I’ve known this person since childhood. He’s never been a girl or woman. He’s never related to us, liked the same things as us, or spoke to us as though we were on the same level. We were friends and he still talked down to me and treated me like I was stupid and lame. But all of a sudden he wants to wear dresses and he gets more “you go girl” energy than I or my friends ever have. The worst part is, my friends who know him are drinking the libfem koolaid and refuse to admit the obvious truth. I brought it up to my friend before I even knew was GC really was and got into a big argument. Definitely one of my smaller, early peaks.

[–] bibliophile 5 points (+5|-0)

omg that guy sounds absolutely infuriating! My friend is just a very regular somewhat socially awkward straight guy. Like, one of those guys who relies on his humor and jokes about his weird childhood to carry conversations, and makes jokes all the time, and they're really not funny most of the time -- I mean, some of them elicit a small chuckle, but most of them don't. Yet whenever he says something it's CLEAR he expects a reaction -- just the way he quips. So I always fake laughed. Now I ignore it more. Like I'm not your fricking audience, I'm supposed to be your regular friend. Honestly unless you have a friend like that, you won't understand how uncomfortable it is to basically have someone "performing" their sense of humor for you and it's not even funny. Just the way he says the stuff, you can tell he thinks he's so witty. NONE of my female friends would ever show this behavior. We just say things that are unintentionally funny or that we think are funny and laugh together, actual laughter.

You know, I really wanted to believe that he would have that "woman essence." I thought that the person I met after several months of transitioning would be someone new. But no, not at all. The exact same behaviors but packaged in a way that you're not allowed to criticize them. It would have been hard enough to tell him before, "your conversation-dominating and expecting-people-to-laugh-at-your-jokes behavior is very male and I'm sick of it," but now it's forbidden to say. UGH why can't men just fucking shut up? I swear, it's really rare to meet a girl who talks over you and doesn't know when to shut up, but it's a really common male behavior. And the thing is, I said some things that related to the way I've been treated as a woman when we met up (like, (it was related somehow) saying that most of my male friends had had a crush on me at some point, which was really annoying because I just wanted to be friends). AND HE WAS NODDING AND REACTING LIKE HE UNDERSTOOD. You will never understand. I can't believe I'm expected to believe that these people are just like you and me.

[–] LearningBravery 24 points (+24|-0) Edited

Hello everyone my name is [LearningBravery], and I’m a TERF! I’d been lurking on various twitter threads for weeks, reading terf posts and broadening my perspective. Then i got outed by my political club for liking some forbidden tweets and engaging with forbidden people. I was only doing it as bookmarks, but it was very nice to get ousted and labeled even before my position could crystallise in my own mind! Love that for me. I’m still out, exploring, but shame makes it harder. And to think i used to be a TRA...

[–] Gardevoir 13 points (+13|-0)

The nerve of them to put you on blast for daring to indulge in wrongthink.

[–] milpathecat 3 points (+3|-0)

I like your nickname. I just evolved a Kirilia into Gardevoir yesterday.

[–] Gardevoir 2 points (+2|-0)

Thank you! :D I played so much Sapphire as a kid, been trying to get my hands on an Emerald cartridge but they're way too hard to find.

My “peak trans” moment has been a slow-but-marked shift over the past couple of years. I don’t think I’ve actually ever thought TWAW or TMAM, but before recently, it didn’t really register as something other than “a very small group of people seeking reassignment surgery”. Nowadays, that’s obviously different.

I’m friends with trans people and non-binary people and I can’t help but see how it’s all so reliant on stereotypes. It’s hair and make up, or clothes; it’s “men do/think X while women do/think Y”. It’s about aesthetic rather than about a meaningful engagement of what womanhood or manhood actually mean.

And I’d still be in that place of “people I don’t get, but whatever” if it weren’t for the incessant need for entirely fictional “identities” to be accommodated to the detriment of everyone else. There are consequences to these delusions for absolutely bloody every woman. I’m a survivor of violent sexual assault by a stranger—I know exactly why single sex spaces need protecting, but I feel like I’ve got to open up a very painful thing about myself in order for that belief to be taken seriously. JKR’s essay was something that resonated with me so much—what a woman.

I’m an academic (women’s history); I have to be able to tell women’s (adult human females’) stories without inputting ahistorical ideas about “cis” or gender identity. It’s not just the danger that women are put in by the TRA agenda, it’s also the Orwellian doublespeak that really enrages me.

It’s all that, and the fact that I’m a bloody woman. Not a menstruator, or a birther, or cis—a woman.

[–] salty 22 points (+22|-0)

I don't really have a peak moment, I'm just so bloody lost.

My good friend a few weeks ago was talking to her newborn son while changing his nappy and was saying things to him like "well we have to clean here for now but if you choose to cut it off when you're older well that's your choice". To a newborn.

I don't want to raise my children with a view to them changing their gender surgically or going through awful and irreversible hormones because it's currently fashionable. I don't know how to stop all this gobshite hitting the ears of my child. I'm really scared. I don't think my views will be respected. I don't want to be isolated and called a transphobe by coming out with this opinion.

I don't know who I can talk to about this or who I can even trust. Husband agrees with me. But that's all I know of.

[–] Switched 16 points (+16|-0)

I've been using the tactic of bringing up recent news stories and playing dumb. "I hear Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is being painted as transphobic, but I've read her essay and interview and I'm not seeing what she's said that's bad, she seems very compassionate and reasonable. What do you think?"

I also feel much braver since I started speaking up and finding people who agree - there are more than you think!

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