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DiscussionWhat did men teach you about men that you wish you didn't know?
I mean, I guess I'm glad I know all these things, but the education was so harmful, so discouraging, so scary. I was making a list today, and these are the things men who were in my life taught me about men that I wish I didn't know, or rather, that I wish were not true. Add you own in the comments!
I learned that love and sex have almost no connection for men. For many men, "I love you" merely means "I want to have sex with your body." And then most men experience a cognitive affective shift after sex that means they are less interested in you after they've marked you by having sex with your body.
I learned that men are capable of forcing you into sex. Men are also capable of using violence against you. And they can do these things while claiming to "love" you. In fact, the violence of dominance sexually arouses them.
I learned that men's minds and hearts are always laser-focused on other men. Status among male peers is what men crave most of all. To gain that status (or not to lose what status they have), men are fully prepared to throw women under the bus, even women they "love."
I learned that you will always be a woman to a man, and you can never be a friend or an equal. I learned they will pay far less attention to what you say than what any man--literally some bum off the street--says.
I learned that if you try to emulate men or stand up for men, that does not bring you men's respect. Handmaidens are always just that, a member of the servant class.
I learned that expecting reciprocity from a man is like expecting blood from a turnip. Reciprocity is reserved for other men.
I learned that men are fully invested in the double standard, and believe the legal system exists to provide impunity for any crimes men commit against women.
Also their line about women hitting the "wall". Pure projection and cope and seethe. I've seen so many males balding and aging rapidly before they've even hit 20. Then they also expect pure virginal 18 year olds with "perfect bodies", when the men themselves are unkempt, morbidly obese, and complete losers that spent their 20s and 30s watching porn and/or sleeping around.
I've always loved the MRA line that the flat adolescent stomach is somehow a symptom of fertility. Like, 10% of us are naturally infertile - the most attractive sign of fertility should be saggy belly skin and obvious previous successful pregnancy.
Ew! That's such a gross line. I literally yelled out "WHAT THE FUCK! When I read it lol. It's funny, because a healthy amount of body fat is good for fertility. Female gymnast and bodybuilders can struggle with fertility and lose their periods if they overwork themselves, or don't intake enough calories. It's called “female athlete triad or Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (RED-S)", if anyone's interested in researching it. Female body builders' fat body percentage can go as low as 10%. Meanwhile, males can go as low as 2%. Neither is healthy, but below around 13% can kill women, as our bodily functions need more body fat to maintain itself. Our bodies are not meant to be that lean.
Exactly. And trying to be maintain an underweight status to achieve that look for male desirability puts us in a semi-starvation state which literally handicaps us. It reduces our ability to move and think when we are in that state.
(Isobel is my favorite name)
Thanks! My username is in reference to the song 'Isobel', by the Icelandic singer Björk.
Who is also amazing! Nice.